


The Story of Alicia

by Whatttamidoing



Series: The Chronicles of a Hockey Player [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF, Women's Hockey RPF
Genre: Abuse, Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics, IIHF Ice Hockey World Championships, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Minor Character Death, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics, female hockeyplayers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2019-11-12 00:16:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 39,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whatttamidoing/pseuds/Whatttamidoing
Summary: In January 2007 Alicia joined her first hockey team. She was so happy. She’d never believed that this day would come, but here it was. One step closer to what she’d been dreaming about her whole life. Alicia had no idea that this was only the beginning, that this team was only the first of seven different teams she would be playing with during her career as a real professional hockey player.This story follows a young woman and her path through the big bad world as a female hockey player. She will go through things no one should. There will be pain and sadness but there will be a lot more happiness and eventually she will meet the love of her life.





	1. The One Where It All Began

**Author's Note:**

> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...
> 
> Alicia is an original character, sort of based on me. We share the same last name, are the same age, blonde, speak Swedish, we grew up in Finland, both of us are right handed and shoots left, but that’s it. Nothing that is happening in this story has happened to me, at least not any of the big things.
> 
> I came up with this character during the Olympics in 2018 and I wrote about 30 pages in a couple of weeks. After that I’ve opened the document only a few times and made a couple changes here and there. I added one chapter last summer but wasn’t able to continue with the story after that.
> 
> The main relationship in this story is between Alicia and Tyler Seguin, but it’s going to be a while before anything happens between them since the story begins years before they even meet.
> 
> I never intended to share this story with anyone but now I’ve decided that I really want to. I have about 12 chapters but I don’t know how many there will be when I’m done. I’m making a lot of changes to the original story and I’m far from done. I thought chapter one was almost ready to be published but suddenly I had added over 700 words to it so who know what will happen to the rest of the chapters.
> 
> English is not my first language so I apologize for all the errors.
> 
> I’ve made up a lot of things in this story. Like there are women’s teams in the KHL (still not playing against the men, but there’s not a separate league for the women) and there are also now 20 ish teams in NWHL instead of five. Basically women’s hockey is bigger and better in my reality. I’ve also made up a lot of things about world records and certain player’s ages etc…. (All the NHL players mentioned in this story are their irl age)
> 
> Alicia Victoria Lydia Andersson was born September 6th 1996, on a Friday. She is a Swedish-speaking Finn (feel free to google that). In the beginning she only speaks Swedish, English and very little Finnish but as the story goes on she will be able to speak Finnish fluently and also Russian and German (not fluently). She has long blond hair which is usually in some kind of braid when she is playing hockey. When she is off the ice her hair is often in a pony tail or bun. Her eyes are blue. She is about 5’6 and average built. She is right handed and shoots left.  
> She is often seen with a smile on her face.
> 
> This chapter covers everything between the late 1990s to the spring of 2011.

Alicia Andersson has always had a special bond with hockey. From the minute she was able to stand on skates and hold a stick she started playing. It wasn't professionally of course, only on the lake by her house during winters with good ice. As she got older her brother took her to the little rink at the elementary school she would later attend.

The years went by and her interest in hockey only grew stronger. She cheered loudly for team Finland during world championships and Olympics. Her biggest dream was to be able to play for her country one day and she spent a lot of time daydreaming about it. She knew she had no chance. She would never be able to join a team and then of course the biggest reason was the fact that she was a girl, and women's hockey was not a big deal...yet.

When Alicia was in third grade she was able to join the floorball team that someone started. That was of course just a hobby, but it was so fun to be able to run around and score goals. In spring she was asked to join the team her school had put together for the annual tournament between a few local elementary schools. It’s usually only the fifth and sixth graders that are allowed to play, so to avoid her being run over by the bigger kids she played as a goalie and she played well. Her school won for the first time since the tournament first started.

In fourth grade things started to change for Alicia. She continued playing floorball both as a hobby and as a part of the school's team. She’d almost forgotten about her dream about playing hockey professionally. She’d grown tired of people saying she would never have the chance to even join a junior team. There was even a time when her mom said that she was talking too much about hockey and that it wasn’t a real hobby. Well how could it even become a hobby if her parent weren’t willing to drive her to a city with a team. So Alicia had stopped talking about hockey. That was until the grand opening of the indoor ice rink in the neighboring city. A fifteen-minute drive from Alicia’s house.

The rink was open for everyone the first few weeks and one afternoon, three days after the grand opening, the rink was reserved only for kids between the ages of nine to thirteen. Alicia had begged her parents to let her go and they did. So equipped with her own blue bike helmet, her sister’s old skates and her brother’s hockey stick she was flying around the rink. She joined a few of the other kids in a two-on-two game.

What she didn’t know was that there were plans to form a junior team (several actually, but only one that would be able to enter real tournaments). The soon-to-be coach of the soon-to-be team had been watching the kids playing and he was impressed with what they could do even without proper training. When they were done the coach came and talked to them and told them about the team he was trying to build, and he asked them if they wanted to join. Alicia looked at her parents and they were smiling. They had already agreed to let her play if that was what she really wanted. They had no problem with the fifteen-minute drive.

For Christmas that year Alicia got brand new hockey equipment. She was used to getting her siblings’ old hand-me-downs so when she opened gift after gift with expensive hockey gear she could only cry.

In January 2007 Alicia joined her first hockey team. She was so happy. She’d never believed that this day would come, but here it was. One step closer to what she’d been dreaming about her whole life. Alicia had no idea that this was only the beginning, that this team was only the first of seven different teams she would be playing with during her career as a real professional hockey player.

 

\-------------------

  
  
A couple of years went by and both Alicia and her team were getting better and better. They had entered a few short tournaments during their first six months and the results weren’t great but also not terrible considering how long the team had existed. Somehow, they qualified for the second-lowest (of four) junior division and they played in that division starting the fall of 2007.

The big change came in May 2009 when she was twelve years old. A coach from the Espoo Blues U15 team was present during the playoffs in which Alicia’s team was battling for a spot in the finals. He had seen Alicia play earlier that season when he was scouting other players and now he was there to really focus on what she could do on the ice. One thing was certain. She was too good to be playing with this team in this division.

 

\-------------------

 

Alicia was now 13 years old and from August 2009 she was a part of the Espoo Blues U15 team. There had been a lot of debating at home about whether Alicia should join the team and after some time her parents agreed that she was old enough to take the two hours long bus ride to the Espoo Metro Areena where the team was training. She had now graduated from both elementary school and kids’ hockey. She couldn’t believe it. Every day for almost six months Alicia was sure that she would wake up and realize that it had all been a dream. But it wasn’t.

Alicia had grown up speaking only Swedish at home and even though she had a Finnish speaking grandmother she’d never really learned the very difficult language. As the team was based in Espoo and everything happened in Finnish she was afraid that the team wouldn’t welcome her. She didn’t have to worry much though. The players and personnel were all happy to help and they spoke slowly so that she could keep up and if she didn’t understand at all they would just show her. A few of them spoke a little Swedish.

When she wasn’t playing hockey she was adapting to her new school and she found a new group of friends. One of whom was bilingual, so she helped Alicia with her Finnish. This girl, Emma, would become Alicia’s best friend and play a big part in Emma’s life.

She really blossomed during her time with the Blues, both her hockey and her language skills and because she was having the time of her life she was able to focus on her school work, which had caused some problems in the past. Seventh and eighth grade basically sprinted by. Aside from hockey she was also playing floorball and volleyball for her school. Her gym teacher had told her that she didn’t have to be a goalie anymore, but Alicia wanted to. She felt that playing as a goalie helped her with her reflexes for when she was on the ice. She had never intended to end up on the volleyball team since she felt two different sports were enough, but she started anyway when the coach wasn’t able to get a whole team. It might have been Emma that was the final reason that Alicia said yes. And since they won the first year Alicia just had to play again the next year.

At the end of the 2010-2011 season Alicia’s coaches called her to a meeting regarding her future. She wasn’t sure about what was going to happen the next season, but she’d assumed she would continue with the U15 Blues since she wouldn’t turn sixteen until after the season ended. What they told her caught her completely off guard. She would start the 2011-2012 season with the “adult” Espoo Blues. She would be playing in the women’s elite league at the age of fifteen.


	2. The One In Which Everything Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia paused the video and stared at the screen for a few seconds. Then she screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age thing is no big deal in real life and there have been a lot of players who have been very young when they first started playing for a national team, but this is an “alternate reality” so let´s say that this is a big deal. Also Leijonat means the Lions (the name for Finland’s national hockey team) and Naisleijonat means the Lady Lions (Finland’s female national hockey team). The age restriction part is also partly made up…
> 
> This chapter is set between the summer of 2011 and spring 2012
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One In Which Everything Happens

 

A lot had happened with women's hockey these past few years. It wasn't just a thing that existed, it was now a thing people actually followed and cheered for. It still had a long way to go to reach the same level as male hockey, but it was something.

 

During summer break between eight and ninth grade Alicia received a phone call from one of the coaches of Finland's female hockey team (Naisleijonat). It was an invitation to the annual summer training camp for the Finnish national U18 team. Alicia didn't even hesitate to accept. This was her chance to make her longest running dream come true. She knew of course that this wasn’t an invitation to actually play for Finland during the next championships, but it was one step closer.

 

The camp wasn’t just for the girl U18 team but also the “adult” Leijonat, male and female, as well as the boy’s U18 and U20 teams. This meant that Alicia got to meet some of her childhood heroes. Among them Riikka Välilä who have been playing for team Finland since the first official women’s world championships in 1990. She made a lot of new friends during this time and she was able to come out of her shell and even started speaking more Finnish. When the training/development camp was over Alicia officially joined the U18 as a prospect and continued training with them.

 

How Alicia managed to focus on school, play for the Blues as well as training with the U18 Leijonat no one knows to this day. Luckily it wasn't the season for any of her other hobbies, so she had all the time for hockey.

 

By the beginning of December Alicia had proven that her hockey skills were something extra. The coaches were so happy with her that they put her on the roster for the U18 world championships in Přerov, Czech Republic. So, at 15 years, 3 months and 26 days Alicia became the youngest player to have ever played in any junior world championships. There wasn’t much talk about her during this tournament, sure some people commented on her age, but she was just a third line right winger who was doing very well for her age. The real talking would begin later that spring.

 

The time after the tournament just flew by. They had won gold for the second time in U18 history and Alicia had scored three goals in the tournament. After that the U18 team had even had the opportunity to train with the Naisleijonat several times during the spring. Because of that she’d even played on a line with some pretty big names. There was nothing that could bring her down. School was going amazing, they’d won the school volleyball tournament, her hockey was developing and she’d even gotten herself a boyfriend named Lukas.

 

In mid-March Alicia was watching the roster announcement for the Naisleijonat on Twitter to see which of her teammates from U18 and Blues would be going to Burlington in April. She was listening to head coach Pekka Hämäläinen as he said a few familiar names and while Alicia was busy texting her friend and congratulating her for making the team he said something crazy.

 

”... _and finally, the newest addition to Naisleijonat who will join us in Burlington is none other than Alicia Andersson of Espoo Blues, a 15-year-old left handed forward, first time playing for Naisleijonat_.”

 

Alicia paused the video and stared at the screen for a few seconds. Then she screamed.

 

On Monday when Alicia went back to school she was glowing. Everybody congratulated her; students, teachers and other staff members. It was kind of weird as she had never talked to a lot of the students that suddenly talked to her like they were her best friends. She knew it was only because she was kind of famous now, but she didn't care, she had her friends and she didn't have time to let a bunch of fake people into her life.

 

Her new coach had talked to her parents a few days before he’d made the announcement and they had given him their permission to let Alicia join the team. They’d all agreed that it would be more fun if they kept it quiet and let Alicia find out the news on her own. Given her young age coach Hämäläinen never had the intention of adding Alicia to the roster, but because there had been a few injuries, and they knew that she was good, the coaches had decided to bring her along in the end.

 

\-------------------

 

Back to the kind of famous part. It's of course a big deal for a small town when someone from there makes something of themselves. This was however kind of big all over the country. She was first of all the only Swedish-speaking Finn on the team, and she was in fact the first one ever, so about 300 000 people were going crazy just for that. Second of all she was the youngest player to ever be on a national team (15 years, 7 months and 2 days), so newspapers over the world were writing about her. The second youngest one was a 17-year-old Russian player.

 

Not so much happened before the tournament. The local newspaper wrote a few articles about her and she gave a few interviews. When a Finnish-speaking reporter wanted to interview her she kind of panicked. She didn’t feel like her Finnish was strong enough to handle an interview. Luckily one of the assisting coaches offered to be there with her and help her through it. As it turns out Alicia’s Finnish was really good, and she only needed help with a few words.

 

\-------------------

 

There were some difficulties with getting her to the states. As no one in management had believed they'd put her on the roster until very late no one had thought about fixing the necessary paperwork. IIHF have an age restriction when it comes to playing for the national team. For the men's team you must be 18 but are able to play as 16 but then you must obtain an underage waiver. The same rules go for the women only it's enough to be 15 years old. After some stressful phone calls to the right people the paperwork was filed in time and Alicia was able to travel with the team.

 

Alicia was taking the whole thing quite easy. Sure it was a great honour to be on the national team at such a young age, but it wasn’t like she was even going to play in a single game. She was only there in case of an emergency.

 

Suddenly things were happening. Her name was on tonight’s line-up as the second line centre, but that had to be a mistake…right? No, it wasn’t. She was in her gear, she’d been on the ice during warm-ups. “ _Why am I not in the press-box_?”. The game was starting and Alicia was in the face-off circle.


	3. The One With The 2012 World Championships In Burlington, USA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia scored her first goal in her first game as a part of Naisleijonat. It was amazing. The arena was nowhere near full but the ones that were there cheered loudly, because the Americans in the crowd had decided to support the new kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set between the spring of 2012 and fall 2012
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

 

The One With The World Championships In Burlington 2012

 

Suddenly Alicia couldn’t hear the people in the crowd. Had the arena gone quiet? And why was her heart beating so loud? She could feel all the color draining from her face. _“I can do this…I can totally do this. It’s just a dream and in this dream I can’t lose”_  . The Danish player who were going to take the face-off smiled at Alicia.

\- Scared? Alicia nodded, knowing that it was written all over her face

\- Don’t be. That means winning against you would be like kicking a sad puppy.

Suddenly the referee blew her whistle and the game was starting. Alicia won her first face-off because fuck being scared. _“I’m the boss of my own dream!”_

Alicia scored her first goal in her first game as a part of Naisleijonat. It was amazing. The arena was nowhere near full but the ones that were there cheered loudly, because the Americans in the crowd had decided to support the new kid.

Finland wanted revenge from last year when they had lost the bronze medal to Switzerland. They lost a couple of games, but managed to kick out Sweden in the semi-finals, as well as winning the bronze this time.

It was a happy bunch that landed on Helsinki-Vantaa airport after the tournament, of course they would have wanted to win something other than bronze for once, as it's the only thing the female Leijonat have won since women's hockey became a thing in 1990, but winning bronze is always much better than returning with nothing. Alicia was beaming, she'd had a great tournament and ended up within the top 12 point leaders of the entire tournament as well as having broken the record of being the youngest player to ever be in a hockey world championship (not counting juniors).

\-------------------

The spring of 2012 rushed by. She had been thinking a lot about where she would be attending high school next fall. Her parents wanted her close to home and therefore wanted her to attend the local high school, but they said that they supported her decision to apply to a school in Espoo that focused on sports. That way she would be closer to all her hockey teams. She was secretly hoping that she would only be accepted to the one in Espoo but she knew that it was basically impossible to NOT be accepted to her local high school, especially since her grades were a little above average. On the other hand, she wasn’t sure about what her boyfriend would do if she decided to leave town. He had been kind of controlling lately.

\-------------------

While she was waiting for her 9th grade graduation her school team were competing in the annual floorball tournament (and they won) and later the volleyball tournament (a well-earned second place). The Blues however lost the playoffs, but it was truly an amazing feeling when they had made it that far. They knew they were going in with high expectations for the next season, but they also knew that mixed with those high expectations were also the feeling of revenge and hopefully that would fuel them to win the cup next year.

\-------------------

By midsummer Alicia found out that she was accepted to both her schools and in the end, she was pressured into attending her local school instead of the one in Espoo. Alicia wasn’t happy with her “decision”, but she chose to accept that this is how it is. On the plus side she would still be living in the same town as her closest friends. She decided that she would graduate after four years instead of the more common three. That way she would have a bit more time to focus on hockey.

 

Even though everything was new she decided to take a few more courses than recommended for a freshman. That way she could take it easier next year and maybe have a chance to be selected to play for Finland during the Olympics in 2014.

 

Because of all the extra work she was doing Alicia was tired. She didn’t really have any inspiration to do homework, but she pushed through. She had a lot of help from Emma and her Blues teammates and they were the only ones who kept her sane. She couldn’t let her mom know she was struggling with homework because then she’d insist Alicia should quit hockey and that was not an option for Alicia. She needed hockey. It helped her focus. It helped her explain the bruises on her body. Bruises that weren’t really from playing hockey. Bruises that no one should ever get.


	4. The One We Wish Didn’t Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She leaned her elbow on the table and winced. She’d forgotten about the large hand-shaped mark just above her elbow. She could feel Emma looking at her but didn’t dare to look back at her. Alicia decided that today was the day. She was going to tell Emma everything. That she was afraid of Lukas, that he was hurting her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS!!! There´s talk about abuse in this chapter but it’s not being described in any detail. 
> 
> There’s not so much hockey talk right now but there will be in later chapters. I’m just mentioning the championships at this point.
> 
> I already published one chapter today but decided to publish this anyway, mainly because they are both shorter than the rest. This chapter was not a part of my original story, I wrote and added it just last week so it might have a different style to it. I also didn't really know where to put this chapter, I wanted to put it between the next two but I couldn't really make it work...so here it is.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set in fall 2012 to early 2013
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

 

The One We Wish Didn’t Happen

 

Lukas was a nice guy. He was polite, popular and his grades were well above average. He truly was the boy next door, the one you could introduce to your parents. So, when this guy asks you out you have to say yes.

 

He had been so sweet in the beginning. He acted like he truly cared about your opinion. He acted like he supported you playing hockey. He acted like a true gentleman the first time he met your parents. He made you feel special when he took your virginity. He acted like you mattered.

 

Suddenly it all changed. His kisses turned rough. He would grab your arm and not let go. He wouldn’t let you see your friends every day. He kept track of your texts and calls. He told you than no one would ever love you like he does. He left marks. He crushed your self-esteem piece by piece.

 

Alicia was brought back to reality when her teacher started talking to her.

_\- Earth to Alicia!_

_\- Sorry what?_

_\- Just checking that you are alive_.

 

The teacher smiled and turned her attention back towards the whole class. Alicia blushed and tried to focus on writing notes. Her phone lit up with a new text from Emma and she unlocked it and read it.

_\- U ok?_

Alicia turned her head and looked at her best friend. She nodded to show she was fine. Emma was not convinced but she let it go for now. They both turned their attention to the front of the class where the teacher tried to teach a bunch of teenagers how to solve a certain math problem…at 8:23 am. Only 7 hours and 37 minutes left until Alicia could go home. She leaned her elbow on the table and winced. She’d forgotten about the large hand-shaped mark just above her elbow. She could feel Emma looking at her but didn’t dare to look back at her. Alicia decided that today was the day. She was going to tell Emma everything. That she was afraid of Lukas, that he was hurting her.

 

\-------------------

 

Alicia was sitting on the floor crying in Emma’s apartment. She had just told her friend about how Lukas is verbally abusing her.

\- _But he is not violent, is he?_

Alicia dried her tears with her sleeve and quietly took off her hoodie to reveal a few purple marks on her arms.

- _Not all of these are from playing hockey…_

\- _Why haven’t you told me about this sooner?_

Alicia looked at her friend.

\- You know exactly why...

Emma was quiet for a few moments.

_\- Just because my family have made my life a living hell doesn’t mean that you should keep something like this from me. I’m not that fragile you know. Like hello I have my own apartment now! I’m doing great._

Alicia could see the pain in Emma’s eyes. Both her parents were drunks. Mean drunks. Her older brother had escaped it all by going backpacking through Asia as soon as he'd turned 18 and no one knows where he is now. Her older sister has been going in and out of rehab since she was 17 and has a child. Emma moved away from home when she was 16 and her younger sister is staying over most nights.

-  _Have you told anyone else?_

\- _No. You are the only one who knows and it have to stay that way._

\- _But.._

\- _Emma promise me you won’t tell anyone!! My mom can’t know! It would destroy her!_

\- _But you can’t keep this a secret forever._

\- _I won’t…just…for now please?_

Emma sighed and held out her pinky.

\- _Pinky promise._

\- _Pinky promise._

\- _You are going to break up with him, right?_

\- _…right._

 

\-------------------

 

To get away from her personal struggles Alicia put all her focus on hockey when she could. She was never a violent player but sometimes her one timers were a bit harder than you’d expect from a 16-year-old girl.

 

She got more and more ice time when playing with the Blues. The same thing was happening with the U18 team and when it was time for the U18 tournament at the end of December she was named the second line centre. She had been a right winger last time but the coaches were impressed with how she had played in the world championships last spring, so they decided that centre was the best position for her.

 

This year the U18 tournament was being held in Finland so they had massive support on home-ice. The tournament ended with a gold medal for the second year in a row and the players were already talking about how it was going to be next year when most of this year’s team would be too old. Someone was saying that Alicia would definitely be captain next year. Alicia just laughed even though she was secretly hoping it was the truth.


	5. The One With The 2013 World Championships In Ottawa, Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the spring progressed Alicia became more and more nervous. She really wanted to play in this year’s championships and she didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t make it. She had worked so hard! Her friends and Blues teammates tried to assure her that she was going to make it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this turned out shorter than expected, but that only happened because I decided to split it in half. The next one have a little over a 1000 words and I might publish that one later this week, since I might not be able to publish next Monday. I have one chapter completely done after that, and that’s over 3000 words.  
> Like I’ve mentioned before I’ve changed the ages of certain players. In this chapter I’m mentioning Michelle Karvinen and she’s born in 1990 irl but in this story she’s about 2-3 years younger. I don’t have an exact age for her but just assume that she’s closer to Alicia’s age than she really is. I also have her playing in Espoo Blues even though she hasn’t done that since 2009.
> 
> This chapter is set in the winter/spring of 2013
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The World Championships In Ottawa 2013

 

To keep her mind away from her personal struggles and her busy schedule, Alicia put her heart and soul into playing hockey. After winning the junior championships she had her eyes set on making it into the Naisleijonat roster again this year. Her teammates and coaches started to suspect something was wrong in her personal life, but since it didn’t affect her hockey they didn’t say anything. When Alicia took her first penalty, after one and a half seasons in the Finnish league, people just joked and said she’d finally toughened up. There was one player however who’d decided to silently keep an eye on her and that was Michelle Karvinen, Alicia’s current linemate in Espoo.

\-------------------

In the beginning of February, it was time for the seniors’ last day of school, which really meant that they had a few hours to prank and “humiliate” the younger students. Alicia was very nervous as she had no idea what to expect and because she was known for her hockey it meant that there was a bigger chance for her to be a target than it was for the lesser known students.

It wasn't too bad however. As soon as she entered the school someone drew something on her face and told her to respect her elders. A little while later she found herself zip-tied to another person, and that happened to be the school’s volleyball captain Sandra. A group of seniors named them Jock #1 and Jock #2. Alicia and Sandra tried to find a pair of scissors but apparently it had been a part of the prank day to hide ALL the scissors. Luckily for them they both had the same class that morning so none of them had to awkwardly be in the wrong classroom.

After class the whole school gathered in the auditorium to watch the play that the seniors had put together. It’s tradition to write a play where the seniors are pretending to be the teachers and the younger students and it’s mostly the popular kids that are being made fun of. “Alicia” was in a few scenes, but it wasn't anything too horrible. Sometimes the person playing her would just walk across the stage wearing a Leijonat jersey and holding a hockey stick.

\------------------- 

As the spring progressed Alicia became more and more nervous. She really wanted to play in this year’s championships and she didn’t know what she’d do if she didn’t make it. She had worked so hard! Her friends and Blues teammates tried to assure her that she was going to make it and as it turns out, they were right. The new head coach Mika Pieniniemi had decided that Alicia would once again be representing Finland in the world championships.

 

 The tournament started well, and people started getting their hopes up that Finland would finally place better than third. The made it to the gold medal game for the first time ever, but unfortunately they could not find a way to beat USA. Even though the silver was their best result so far it was kind of disappointing, because silver is almost gold but almost isn't good enough. It's kind of amazing how much better it feels to win bronze than losing the gold. Alicia gave a couple of interviews after the game and when someone asked her how the team felt after the loss this was her answer:

\- Of course, we are very disappointed. It would have been amazing to win our first gold medal, but I have a feeling that in a couple of days we're going to quit moping around and realize that silver is shiny too.

Alicia received a lot of praise for her words and over the fact that she'd been so calm after the loss when other more experienced teammates were openly showing how pissed off they were. It was after this that people started whispering that Alicia might have what it takes to become captain one day, especially after the current captain had stormed off and refused to give any comments.

 

There was not really much time to mope around after the loss because Alicia had to focus on school while also doing all she could to help get Espoo Blues into the playoffs. They just managed to get the last wild card spot by winning their last game of the regular season and people expected them to be kicked out in the first round. But they weren’t kicked out. Instead they became the last team standing. The entire team had been battling for every single win. They had all been hungry for revenge from the previous year as well as from this year’s world championships. All that hunger paid off and the Blues were able to hoist the cup for the first time in 10 years. This made them all forget about the championships and to top it all off, Alicia was named MVP of the entire season.


	6. The One That Didn't Kill Her And Only Made Her Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia laughed it off. She was surely going to get a bump but it’s not like she’d die from it. The guy who’d kicked it truly looked destroyed and just kept apologizing. After a little while he calmed down when he could see that Alicia really was fine. They laughed about it and he introduced himself as Mikko Rantanen and promised he’d buy her dinner as an apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS AND WARNINGS!!!! The main character is physically abused in this chapter. It's not described in any detail, but if you don't want to read about it you can skip to the paragraph that starts with "The summer continued..."
> 
>  
> 
> I added Mikko Rantanen to this one because in future chapters I mention that him and Alicia are friends and now I felt like writing a few words about how they met. Also I have written football somewhere in the text but you should know that football for me means soccer for others 😊
> 
> This chapter covers the summer of 2013 to early 2014
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> Right now I have about 14 chapters (but they are absolutely not done). I have a feeling that more shorter chapters will be added along the way. My original story also didn’t have an ending so I’m going to have to figure that one out too. So by the time I’m done I might have about 18-19 chapters….maybe…
> 
> Chapter seven will be a real monster with 3652 words.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One That Didn't Kill Her And Only Made Her Stronger

 

Alicia had a very stressful summer even though this was supposed to be her holiday. Her mother had found a math test from just before the world championships, one that Alicia had barely passed. That resulted in a lot of yelling and her mother telling her that she was focusing on the wrong things in life.

\- _Don’t throw away your future!_

That had been the last thing Alicia heard before she’d stormed out of the house. She wanted to stay with Emma for a few days while things cooled down at home but that wasn’t possible since Emma was visiting her cousins in Sweden. So of course, Alicia thought that her next best option was to go to Lukas. He’d been quite calm and nice for the last few weeks, so Alicia believed she would be fine there for a little while. Well that was not the case. When she first got there it all seemed fine and he told her that she could stay as long as she wanted, but after a little while he lost his temper.

\- _Why the fuck didn’t you answer my texts?!_

\- _What texts? My phone died hours ago, and I left my charger at home!_

Lukas continued screaming and called her an ungrateful bitch more than a few times. Suddenly he punched her right in the face. He’d never gone for the face before.

 

Hours later Alicia found herself on one of her work friend’s couch with a black eye and tears running down her face. This was it. This could not go on any longer! She went to work the next day like nothing had happened and put on her best customer service smile. Her dad showed up after a few hours.

\- _Mom has mostly calmed down now, so I think you should come home._

- _I think I’m going to need a couple more days, but I promise I’ll come back._

Her dad gave her a hug and left. Alicia felt herself relax. She’d been afraid that he’d notice the black eye but apparently her friend had done a great job hiding it with make-up. Later that day she sent a text to Lukas.

_“It’s over. You are done hurting me. Don’t ever try to contact me or anyone I know. Have a shitty life.”_

 

The summer continued, and things were still a bit tense between Alicia and her mom. And as if that weren’t enough she was still worried about Lukas. She’d blocked his number as well as changed her own, but she still imagined seeing him everywhere. She could not enjoy her summer. She started worrying about her future so she spent more time at the gym after work, and she had never liked going to the gym. She started losing her appetite and slowly also her weight.

 

When it was time for her to go to this year’s Leijonat training camp she put her game face on and decided to have fun. Because she loves hockey damn it! On the second day she was hit in the head with a football.

\- _Shit! Sorry sorry sorry……..!!!!!!_

Someone from the boy’s U18 team came running towards her.

\- _It’s okay, no harm done._

Alicia laughed it off. She was surely going to get a bump but it’s not like she’d die from it. The guy who’d kicked it truly looked destroyed and just kept apologizing. After a little while he calmed down when he could see that Alicia really was fine. They laughed about it and he introduced himself as Mikko Rantanen and promised he’d buy her dinner as an apology.

 

\-------------------

 

Alicia decided to go full on nerd during the first few weeks of her second year of high school. That meant she attended more classes than recommended at once, but on the other hand she would be able to take it easier later in the year and focus on hockey instead without falling behind. That proved to be the best idea since by November she already had way more credits than a lot of her fellow sophomores. There was one bad thing, however, all the stress combined with training were taking a toll on her body. She wasn’t dangerously skinny per se, but by hockey standards she was way too skinny.

 

As 2013 was coming to an end the only thing on Alicia’s mind was hockey and Olympics. She’d decided against playing in the U18 championships this year as she felt she needed time to breathe. That had resulted in a lot of disappointed fans who’d bet she’d be this year’s captain. In the middle of all this the captain of Naisleijonat suddenly announced that she’d retire before Christmas. Rumor has it that the head coach had removed her “C” and she’d decided that it wasn’t worth playing for a team that weren’t willing to follow her. That meant that there was room for one more player on the team and Alicia hoped that it would increase her chances of being picked.

 

In January 2014 the roster was published and not only had Alicia made the team, she had been named alternate captain and would now wear an “A” on her jersey. Life could not possibly have been any better at that point. The coaches had also made Jenni Hiirikoski the new captain.

What Alicia didn’t know however was that they’d wanted to name her captain but had decided against it when it was unclear if that would have put too much pressure on her current health.

 

As the Olympics is quite the big deal and a lot more countries are involved than during the championships, people were once again taking interest in Alicia and her young age. No one had really cared last year, she had still been the youngest player, but she hadn't broken any world records. So, this year it was once again a huge deal. She was going to break the record of being the youngest ice hockey player, both male and female, to play in the Olympics. The fact that she was going to be an alternate captain made it even bigger and she found out that she was going to receive an award for that after her first game.

 

Before the team left for Sochi Alicia had become really good friends with the starting goaltender Noora Räty. Noora and Alicia hadn't really talked much during Alicia's first year as Alicia had been quite shy. They hadn't had the chance to get to know each other the following year either since Noora had been injured early during training and did not join the team in Canada. Noora and Michelle had both started to jokingly call Alicia daughter or little sister, and their goal was to protect her from all evil.


	7. The One With The 2014 Winter Olympics In Sochi, Russia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It seems like the Finnish players have decided to just stop trying to score. Their main goal seems to be to get the puck to number 96 so that she can have her hat-trick and another world record”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damkronorna (“The Lady Crowns”) is the name of the Swedish women’s national ice hockey team.
> 
> Alicia breaks a world record for being the youngest hockey player ever in the Olympics, but I know there have been younger ones…  
> While we are on the age thing. Noora Räty was born in 1989 in real life, but in my reality I wanted her closer to Alicia’s age so I’ve changed it to 1992.
> 
> The names of the colleges in this story are all real but they don’t focus on the same things as they do in real life. In my reality they are total hockey colleges 😉
> 
> I couldn’t come up with a good name for a Dallas hockey team so I just decided on Texas Blue Stars. It’s probably going to be confusing when the Dallas Stars makes its debut later on…but oh well…this happened. I don’t remember if I’ve written about Texas Stars in later chapters, but if I have….daaamn my brain is going to hurt when I try to not mix them up.
> 
> This chapter is set in 2014, with most of it happening during the winter/spring.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The Winter Olympics In Sochi 2014

 

The opening ceremony of the Olympics was truly amazing. Alicia was absolutely stunned to be a part of it. She was walking right next to the one and only Teemu Selänne and the Boston Bruins starting goaltender Tuukka Rask, and they were both talking to her like they were old friends. She was really nervous about the whole situation because she admired Rask for his goaltending technique and because OMFG Teemu Selänne!!! The Swedish-speaking TV commentators pointed out to everyone at home, when Alicia was being filmed, that Alicia would be breaking two world records as soon as she steps on the ice as well as she alone represented the Swedish-speaking Finns in this year’s Olympics. The two world records she would be breaking were “Youngest ice hockey player in the Olympic history” and “Youngest alternate captain in both Olympic and IIHF history”.

 

A couple of days after the opening ceremony it was time for their first hockey game. Their first opponent was Sweden (Damkronorna). Naisleijonat have always been considered the stronger team, with Damkronorna only having placed better than them three times in the history of female hockey. This year, however, things were different. Damkronorna had a team filled with elite players and they were ready to beat whoever they were going to play against. This had made the Finns quite nervous about the game, but as it turns out they had no reason to be. Alicia broke the tension barely ten minutes into the first period by scoring an impressive goal, where she completely had the Swedish goaltender fooled. That single goal woke up the players on the Finnish bench and they played like never before. By the end of the first period they had scored three more goals. Alicia had scored one and assisted the other two and she was now on her way to score her first career hat-trick. The game continued and Damkronorna created a lot of dangerous situations, but even if they got past the defense they couldn’t get past Räty. Naisleijonat scored two more goals, Alicia got one more assist and a lot of shots on goal. The commentators had a lot of things to say during this game and Alicia was mostly the subject. Towards the end of the third period it sounded like this:

“It seems like the Finnish players have decided to just stop trying to score. Their main goal seems to be to get the puck to number 96 so that she can have her hat-trick and another world record”.

 

Their plan paid off as Naisleijonat caught Damkronorna during a line change. Alicia got the puck and put it right over the left shoulder of the Swedish goaltender. As the goal-light turned on she actually jumped out of joy. Her teammates almost crushed her when they skated up to her and showered her with hugs. She had tears of joy in her eyes as she went to high five the rest of the team on the bench. She’d gotten her world record and made it even harder to beat for the next person when she put the puck in Sweden’s empty net with ten seconds left in the game. With four goals and three assists, this became the best game in Alicia’s career so far.

 

Later that night after the medal ceremony it was time for the day's world records. As it was still early in the tournament no records had been beaten except for Alicia's three. She was so happy as she received diplomas and a plaque for each record. She was even happier when the one who was handing her the plaques was no one other than a personal hero of hers, Sidney Crosby. Alicia was now officially the youngest hockey player at 17 years, 5 months and 3 days to ever have played in the Olympics, as well as being the youngest alternate captain AND being the youngest one to score a hat trick (more importantly; a FOUR goal hat trick) in the Olympics and IIHF history. Afterwards Sidney came and talked to her. He congratulated her on her world records as well as telling her he’d followed her career for a little more than a year and that he was very impressed. Alicia was sure she was dreaming and that she was going to faint. SIDNEY FUCKING CROSBY GAVE HER A HUG.

 

Alicia couldn’t believe that this had happened. It was probably the change of scenery that had made her relax and she was able to have fun, therefore she could focus 100% on playing well. Back home she was constantly worried about her ex but here she knew he couldn’t get to her.

 

After the fantastic win over Sweden the team went out to celebrate and Alicia might have had a little too much to drink. She was usually very careful with drinking, mostly because she was still underage, but this was Russia and she wanted to celebrate...and to forget her ex. After having a few drinks, she started talking to Gabriel Landeskog and they ended up in his room. Alicia felt herself sobering up as things got a bit more heated and tensed. Gabriel immediately noticed her hesitation and stopped his wandering hands. Alicia thought for a few seconds and then stood up on her tiptoes and continued kissing Gabe. She’d decided that she needed to learn that not all men are like Lukas and this was a chance to do just that. This was a one-time thing and Gabwould not hurt her.

 

Two lessons were learned that night. 1. Sex can be mind-blowingly-amazing. 2. Not all men are Lukas.

 

Afterwards Gabe was being really nice and insisted that Alicia should talk to him about why she’d hesitated earlier. Alicia sighed and was quiet for a little while. Then she turned her body towards Gabe.

\- _You are just the second person to know about this, so I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone._

Gabe could see that it was something serious.

\- _I promise._

\- _So, I had this boyfriend for about a year and a half…and he wasn’t exactly nice. He seemed too good to be true at first and well…I was right. He started sneaking abusive words into a sentence and told me that I was worthless. I started believing him…I still do sometimes. After some time he started hitting me. Never anywhere noticeable and he knew that if anyone were to see the bruises they would just think I got them from playing hockey. I put up with him until last summer, when I finally found the courage to say enough was enough._

Gabe started saying something, but Alicia cut him off.

\- _No, I haven’t reported him, and I won’t do it either. I just want to put it all behind me…_

They talked for a couple hours until Alicia’s curfew was almost up and then he followed her back to her building. Before she could go inside Gabe took her hand and told her that she was a fantastic, talented young woman and to never let a guy treat her like Lukas had ever again. He kissed her cheek and then let her go inside.

 

\-------------------

 

They met up a few more times for the rest of the Olympics. After one of their “encounters” Alicia was in the shower when an unknown number called her phone. Gabe first thought it was his and since the number didn’t show he answered in English. The caller was quiet for a few moments until he asked;

\- _Isn’t this Alicia’s phone? I’m her boyfriend._

Gabe immediately realized that the caller was Lukas, but he didn’t let it show.

\- _No, sorry I just got this number a few weeks ago when I moved to Finland._

\- Well…sorry for disturbing then… Gabe deleted the call from the phone and decided to not tell Alicia about it. He didn’t want her to worry.

Lukas didn’t call again.

 

\-------------------

 

Naisleijonat continued the tournament by winning every single game. Noora had two more shutouts and as a result the girls had the absolute happiest apartment in the Olympic village. When they had free time, Alicia liked hanging out with Michelle and Noora. Alicia also found herself spending some time with Olli Määttä (a player for Leijonat). They had been paired up a lot during interviews because they were (along with Aleksander Barkov) the youngest members on team Finland. Olli was two years older than Alicia and one year older than Aleksander. The trio grew really close and the friendship continued after the Olympics.

 

It was time for the gold medal game for Naisleijonat. Everybody was really tense in the locker room before the game and no one really said anything. The last (and only) time they had played in a gold medal game was last year’s worlds and they all wanted to forget how that had ended. They were going to play against Sweden again and they knew it wasn't going to be as easy as the first game. Sweden had won every game since and hadn't let in too many goals, plus they really wanted revenge after their 0-8 loss in the first game.

 

The game was really intense. There were a lot of penalties and the crowd was going crazy. The arena was completely full. Sweden managed to score the first goal...and the second...and third. In the second half of the second period Alicia scored a power play goal and that really woke up Naisleijonat because 42 seconds later they scored again. The third period was even more crazy and with only 58 seconds left and Sweden in a powerplay things looked dark. That was until Alicia managed to break a sloppy pass and skated away with the puck and put it between the legs of the Swedish goalie. The arena almost exploded because the majority of the crowd were either Finns or others who had decided to root for Finland.

 

So, the game went into overtime. Both teams created many chances, but the goalies had turned into brick walls. With two minutes left in overtime Alicia once again managed to break a sloppy pass. She was just about to take a shot when she suddenly saw stars and felt a burning pain in her ribs. One of the Swedish players had shoved the end of her stick hard right in the side of Alicia. She fell and slid until she softly hit the boards. She tried to get up but when she leaned on her left arm it couldn’t hold her weight, so she fell again. The game had been blown to a stop and Alicia somehow got up and skated to the bench. The trainer asked her if she could breathe and if she thought anything was broken. Alicia claimed to be fine, because of the adrenalin and pure anger she couldn't feel anything anymore. He didn’t seem to believe her but before he could say anything the referee skated up to Alicia and told her she’d been awarded a penalty shot. Coach Pieniniemi asked her if she was okay to do it or if he should choose someone else. Alicia was angry and wanted revenge, so she told him she could do it. Before she started, Noora met her in the centre of the ice to do their own lucky fist bump-ritual that they do before every game and every period. The ritual consists of a regular fist bump, a backhand slap to the other’s elbow and finally a slap to the other’s shoulder. The newspapers have written about it and the cameras are always ready to catch it so no one at home will miss it. The whistle blows, and Alicia takes off. She tricks the goaltender and scores a beautiful goal. As the gloves come off, helmets go flying and the whole team skates up to her and starts hugging and screaming, she was starting to feel it…something was definitely broken. She didn’t tell anyone about it until after the medals had been handed out, the national anthem had been sung, the group picture had been taken and she was done with her interviews. When she finally told the trainer, he shook his head but didn’t say anything. This was their star player and after scoring three hat-tricks in the tournament and the game-winning goal in the gold medal game, he decided that he couldn’t yell at her.

She did get yelled at later by the team doctor however, when the x-ray showed that she had two broken ribs on the left side. So from then on Alicia could be seen wearing a sling so that she didn’t move her arm too much and her ribs could mend in peace.

 

Two days later the Naisleijonat were about to go watch the men's bronze medal game where Finland was going to play against USA. At the arena Alicia was approached by head coach Pieniniemi as well as a man and a woman she didn't recognize. It turned out these people were interested in Alicia's future in hockey. They told her that they could offer her a full sport scholarship to the University of Texas in Dallas starting the fall of 2016. There she would play hockey fulltime on their varsity hockey team and most likely have the opportunity to join Texas Blue Stars, a team in the NWHL, after graduation. Alicia almost said yes on the spot, but she stopped herself as she knew this was a huge decision that she had to discuss with her coaches and her parents. She was too busy thinking about this offer that she barely noticed the game she was supposed to be watching. Not that it mattered, the boys managed to win 5-0 without her paying attention. She did come out of her little bubble to give a standing ovation to the boys, and mostly to Selänne who now had played his final game for Leijonat.

 

Later that night a bunch of players from both Naisleijonat and Leijonat visited a tattoo studio where they all got a tattoo of the Olympic rings. Alicia put hers on the inside of her left wrist, and because she was slightly buzzed she didn’t really think the placement trough. It would be very hard to hide it from her mother. She figured she’d manage. After all she already had a tattoo higher up on the same arm that she’d kept hidden since she was sixteen. A tattoo that she’d gotten with Emma. A tattoo that was a reminder of that even though things seem dark, there’s always something to live for. It was disguised as a Harry Potter tattoo since it was the word “Lumos”.

 

Both hockey teams shared a plane when they were going back to Finland after the closing ceremony and the plane was buzzing. Everybody was talking and laughing, most of them were tipsy and some were simply drunk, but it was the most fantastic flight ever. A lot of fans had been waiting for them when they landed, and everybody wanted autographs. Alicia couldn't believe that so many wanted her autograph too and a few young kids even called her their hero. She almost started crying.

 

When Alicia came back to school after a few days of celebrating, she was met by applause. She was really tired, and her broken ribs were hurting but she still felt amazing. The whole school was talking about the games and a lot of people came up to her and complemented her on her skills and talked about how worried they had been when they saw her fall after being hit. Someone had spent the weekend making memes and a video about what had happened during the Olympics. Someone played it on the screen in a classroom when they were supposed to have geography, but the teacher didn’t mind.

* “Alicia Andersson is a very good example when it comes to having a split personality”. A clip is shown where Alicia is laughing and smiling during an interview. It cuts to another clip where a Finnish commentator is smiling and saying: _“Alicia's smile is always so contagious and I've never seen her give an interview where she is sad, even after a loss”_. There's now a clip showing in slow motion that is a close-up on Alicia's face when she is looking at an opposing player in the middle of a game. The caption reads “Take one step closer and I'll fucking stab you”. Because that is exactly what her expressions says. Suddenly there's an American commentator that is laughing and saying: “This makes it very clear that you should not mess with this girl. She is definitely not the biggest one on the ice, but she is the most dangerous one” *

A screenshot of a pissed off Alicia was up on the screen in the auditorium every day for almost a month.

 

Alicia and her best friend were dropping off their bags on two empty chairs in the history classroom. They didn't know that their teacher was sitting in the little room attached to the classroom and could hear everything being said. Alicia adjusted her sling and it must have shifted her shirt because Emma suddenly shouted;

\- _Girl are you turning into a purple Smurf??? I thought you had only broken two ribs not your entire body!!!_

Alicia just shrugged a little, as much as her broken ribs allowed her to.

\- _Basically half my body is purple from the hit I took, although it’s started to turn green. And everything still hurts, so don’t fucking poke me!_

Alicia was speaking a bit slower than usual and she seemed to have trouble finding some words, so Emma asked.

\- _Dude are you high?_

To Emma’s surprise, Alicia nodded.

\- _If someone were to ask me to spell my name I probably couldn’t do it. They gave me some preeetty strong painkillers but they don’t really take the pain away…the just make me high…_

Their conversation continued, and it might have escalated even more at some point. A little later when class was in session the teacher suddenly said something about a purple Smurf and threw a glance at Alicia and Emma. Alicia looked at her friend who was looking down and biting her lip to keep from laughing. Alicia’s eyes started to water because she was trying so hard not to laugh.

 

\-------------------

 

The semester progressed, and it became clear that Alicia would graduate after three years instead of four thanks to the pace she’d had before the Olympics. When Alicia found this out she added a couple more courses to her schedule so that she could take it way easier next year. When it came to hockey she was benched for about a month because of her injury but was able to start playing again just before the playoffs. This year they didn’t make it all the way.

 

During the summer Alicia worked at a local grocery store and a lot of the customers liked to small talk about hockey as they recognize her. She also talked a lot to one of the guys who worked in the store next door and there might have been some flirting going on. It had been about a year since she broke up with Lukas, but she felt like she wasn’t ready to take this flirting any further. Her fling with Gabe during the Olympics was enough “romance” for now.

 

\-------------------

 

There was one dark cloud that had been following Alicia around since the Olympics, and that was the tabloids body shaming her. They had written a lot about her weight loss that had started las year and about “what message that was sending to young girls”. Alicia had chosen to ignore it and hoped it would go away. After the broken ribs incident there were a few reporters that openly said that it was Alicia’s own fault that it happened.

“Sure, maybe the Swedish player shouldn’t have done that but come on! If Alicia had a healthy weight and a little more fat and muscle she wouldn’t have broken two ribs from that! She might have escaped with just a little bruise. It’s her own fault that she isn’t taking care of herself!”

Alicia had thought a lot about what those reporters had said and especially the one that had very openly body shamed her more than once. How could someone say that to another person, especially a 17-year-old girl?! It was after this that Alicia had contacted the team nutritionist and asked him to create a diet she could follow in the summer to help her get her weight back.

 

\-------------------

 

When fall came Alicia felt a little stressed because she had finals that she had to focus on as well as figure out what she was going to do after she graduates. She knew she wanted to play hockey, but she didn't know where. She had of course the Blues, but she had also gotten offers from teams in both Sweden and Russia. The main reason she was considering moving countries was the fact that she would actually get paid for playing hockey. She'd also been contacted by the University of Colorado Denver and they wanted her from the fall of 2015. Alicia was most likely to decline that offer, mostly because that would take away her possible gap-year. Colorado also couldn’t directly offer a certain future in hockey since they didn’t have a team in the NWHL like Dallas. One positive thing she found was that she’d then be living in the same city as Gabe. But then again, was that really a positive thing? They hardly knew each other, and they would probably both be too busy to ever have time to meet.

 

\-------------------

 

In December of 2014 Alicia could finally breathe. She had written her finals in English, Swedish and history and she had passed them all with flying colours. This meant that she only had to focus on one more test during the spring and that was Finnish. She had thought about writing another one but since she probably was going to attend college in the States to mainly focus on sports she didn't feel the need to stress about an unnecessary test.


	8. The One With The 2015 World Championships In Malmö, Sweden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You proved you have what it takes when you put on the Leijonat jersey for the first time. You are a playmaker, a great goal scorer and a great friend. You step up for your teammates, you avoid fights and you have stepped in more than once when a teammate has tried to initiate a fight. You argue your cause to the referees. How is that not a leader?" - Jenni Hiirikoski to Alicia in February 2015

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HC St. Petersburg is a team in the Russian Women’s Hockey League. I have decided to combine this league with KHL even though they don’t play against the men and they have their own trophy that they are fighting for. All you need to know is that I’m calling it all KHL.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.  
> This chapter covers all of 2015.
> 
> I have chapters written up until the year 2020. I have ideas for the next couple of years and then the whole thing will end with a time-jump or maybe even several. I’m still not sure how many chapters this will have or where in time I’m going to stop this story.
> 
> Congratulations to Naisleijonat for winning silver yesterday!!
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The World Championships 2015 In Malmö, Sweden

 

In January 2015 Alicia was on cloud nine. She only needed a few more credits to graduate, which meant that she wouldn’t have to be in school for most of the spring. She also didn’t worry too much about this year’s championships as she felt that her spot on the roster was pretty secure, at least that’s what everyone had been telling her all year. Eventually she’d started to believe them. She had also figured out her next 4-5 years and that felt like an amazing accomplishment. She was going to take it easy for most of the spring, work during summer, hopefully attend the Leijonat development camp and maybe travel somewhere with her friends. At the end of the summer she would move to Russia and play in the KHL for one season with HC St. Petersburg, after that she would attend the University of Texas in Dallas for 4 years.

 

\-------------------

 

In February, about a month before they would announce the roster for this year’s championships, Alicia was having a group presentation about monsoons or something like that. She was mentally preparing herself to present her part when another group member clicked on the next slide. But it wasn’t Alicia’s text that showed up, instead there was a picture of her in her Leijonat gear and a quote;

“ _Congratulations to our new captain Alicia!!_ ”

Alicia stared at the computer and then turned around towards the big screen to see if there was something else on that. There wasn’t. She looked back at the computer and then she turned towards her group and said;

\- _What?_

\- _GUURL YOU ARE CAPTAIN!!!!!!!!!!_ Someone shouted from the back of the class.

Her mouth fell open and she didn’t know what to say. Emma ran towards her and hugged the living daylights out of her. That’s when Alicia finally understood that this wasn’t a prank. She started laughing and her eyes teared up out of joy. She kept repeating the same words over and over.

\- _No way…_

Everyone congratulated her and after a while the teacher managed to calm everyone down so that they could continue with the presentations.

 

The rumor spread like wildfire and when class ended Alicia found herself surrounded by her friend who took turns hugging her and screaming. She continued laughing and crying and everyone who witnessed this could only smile at her reaction.

 

She called her coach Pasi Mustonen (he had been named head coach after last year’s Olympics) during the lunch break and he told her that he had planned the reveal with her teacher and her group for a couple of weeks. They would make an official announcement a little later. She asked him about last year’s captain, Jenni Hiirikoski, and he told her that she’d stepped down and wanted to go back to being an alternate instead.

 

Alicia called Jenni that night and got the whole explanation.

\- _I only stepped up last year because we were waiting for the real captain to be ready. I never intended to remain captain. Everyone agrees that it should be you. The team, the staff and the fans. We all believe in you. This team needed a natural born leader and now we have it. We are all ready to follow you._

\- _But I hate being in the spotlight. And how can I be a leader when I’ve never been one. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!_

\- _You proved you have what it takes when you put on the Leijonat jersey for the first time. You are a playmaker, a great goal scorer and a great friend. You step up for your teammates, you avoid fights and you have stepped in more than once when a teammate has tried to initiate a fight. You argue your cause to the referees. How is that not a leader?_

\- _What if I blow it?_

- _I’ll be right there with you every step of the way. I might not be one of your wingers and I might not be Noora or Michelle, but I am your defenseman. I always got your back._

 

\-------------------

 

The next month and a half passed in a blur. She had her finals in Finnish and was officially done with high school and she could now put all her focus on hockey and on her new role as captain of the freaking national team! She quickly grew into her role during the intense training camp that happened just before the championships, and she realized that it wasn’t much different from last year when she’d been an alternate.

 

Their first game of the tournament was against Canada and during the warmups Alicia’s face was shown on the jumbotron with the words “The youngest captain ever”. Because that’s what she was at 18 years, 6 months, 23 days. She was the youngest captain in IIHF history and she was also younger than any NHL captain.

 

Naisleijonat had a great tournament and the cameras were always following Alicia and Noora when they were doing their good-luck-ritual. During the semi-finals that ended in a six round long shootout they did their ritual between every shot, and Noora saved them all. Alicia had missed her first shot but got another chance in the sixth round. If she scored on this shot Finland would be going to the gold medal game. A win would also be the perfect revenge against USA which beat them when they were playing for gold the last time (not counting Olympics). The pressure was on. Noora skated up to her to do their ritual and after that Alicia skated towards the puck. She took a deep breath and waited for the whistle, then she took off. She faked a shot twice and fooled the American goaltender when she managed to put it through the five-hole. The bench exploded and over half the arena were on their feet.

 

Two days later it was time for the big game. They were playing against Sweden, just like last year’s gold medal game in Sochi. Naisleijonat really wanted to win again to show Damkronorna that they had not forgotten about last year when they had injured Alicia in the last minute of the game. The Swedes were also angry and they wanted to win on home ice, but clearly they weren’t angry enough since Finland won the game 5-1 and Alicia had scored a hat trick.

 

The medals were handed out, the national anthem was sung, and Alicia was voted MVP and had the most points in this tournament. Noora was the goalie with the highest save percentage. Alicia had led Naisleijonat to gold int her first tournament as captain!

When she was giving an interview on the ice she was suddenly showered in champagne by her teammates.

 

When she came back to Finland she had a week to climb down from the high of winning a world championship until it was time for her last playoffs in the Finnish league. Espoo Blues were fighting to redeem themselves from last year when they had lost in the second round. They just managed to make it to the finals and after a few well-played games they took home the title. Alicia scored her last goal with the Espoo Blues in her last game in the last minute. As everyone skated up to her she wouldn't let herself cry as she knew there were a lot of cameras on her right now.

 

Both teams were facing each other on the ice and before any prizes were handed out there was a video playing on the jumbotron. The video was showing all of Alicia's highlights as a Blues player and of course from international games. A camera was pointed right at her as she was watching the video. The commentators were saying how obvious it was that Alicia was holding back her tears. Alicia swallowed many times and had to look down a lot. Soon however tears were running down her cheeks and right after that she was hiding her face in her hands and crying for real. She felt her two closest teammates hug her and shield her from the cameras. The arena gave her a standing ovation, even the ones that cheered for the other team. Even though she’d never been named captain (but of course alternate at the start of the season), most of the players and fans considered her to be one of the most important players in Blues history, so much that a few years later her jersey number would be retired. She skated around the ice as all the other players tapped their sticks on the ice.

 

Alicia had to give her first interview right as she stepped off the ice and was asked what it's been like playing for the Blues. Her voice was shaky, and she could only say that the experience had been amazing and that she really had made friends for life. The interviewer started to get a shaky voice as well and thanked her for all she had done for the Blues during these past few years.

 

\-------------------

 

Even though she didn't have any classes left Alicia still decided to play in the floorball and volleyball tournaments for her school and they won both. It was truly a great way to end her high school years. In May she started her work at the same grocery store she had worked at before, and she couldn't wait to finally quit. Customer service really wasn't her thing.

 

On the last day of May 2015, it was finally time for graduation. There were a bunch of speeches from both parents, teachers, students and of course the principal. When it was time for scholarships to be handed out the gym teachers had a lot to say. They had six trophies to hand out and they saved the biggest one for last; the “This year's female athlete”. Normally the teacher just says a few words but this time she had a bit more to say:

\- _This girl has truly shown that she is great at a lot of things. She makes a fantastic individual effort on the court as a volleyball player and acts like a brick wall as a floorball goaltender. We don't even need to discuss her skills on the ice as her five world championship medals, one Olympic gold medal and two league championship wins speaks for themselves._

Laughter from the crowd.

\- _Not only is her individual effort proof that she is a great athlete, but her ability to always lift the team spirit even if they've lost a game. She is always thinking about her teammates, ALWAYS, and she never lets her success go to her head. That is why, we with great pleasure hands this trophy to the one and only Alicia Andersson._

Alicia had tears in her eyes as she walked from her chair to the other end of the stage to accept the trophy. Everybody was standing up and clapping like their lives depended on it.

 

A lot more scholarships were handed out for efforts in different subjects etc. The principal cracked a bunch of jokes in her speech and talked about how this year’s graduates were so different and yet there had been no obvious cliques. Everyone seemed to be able to get along with everyone. Lastly it was time for two of the seniors to hold their speech. They told a bunch of jokes and suddenly the focus was cast back on Alicia. One of the seniors said:

\- _Just because one of us has a loooot of medals from different things we felt that it would only be fair to give out medals to the rest of us. Most of you have your medals under your chair and you'll find a note attached to it that explains why you got that medal. We have however one here that we had a lot of trouble with. First of all, we didn't even want to give this person a medal, but the principal said we had to. Second of all what on earth could we give this person a medal for that she hasn’t already got? So, Alicia I'm going to ask you; how many times did you re-take the first ever math test we had, before you finally passed?_

Alicia laughed and held up three fingers. The speech continued with:

\- _So now that we all know that you suck at math I'm going to give you this medal just because it's sort of amazing how you managed to graduate with the rest of us especially since you said you were going to graduate after four years. You know it's only been three, right? This only proves that you are reeeeally bad at math and reeeally deserves this medal. You are kind of awesome. Congrats dork._

 

\-------------------

 

The summer just sprinted by. Alicia worked for about a month and a half, and then she went on a trip to Italy with her friends, since she had skipped the trip that most of the seniors did right before graduation. After that she attended the Leijonat development camp, just like the previous years and in the beginning of August, she moved to St. Petersburg where she would play during the coming season.

 

Playing in Russia was a bit more intense than in Finland and Alicia felt like she really blossomed during that season. She was appointed alternate captain before the season started, probably only because she was only going to be there for a short period of time. The team won a most of their games and had an eleven-game winning streak until they finally were beaten in a shootout.

 

Even though the fall went great for the team, Alicia had a lot on her mind that made her quite unhappy. She started to become worried about her spot on the national team since she wasn’t able to leave Russia to go train with Naisleijonat. She knew that a lot of the other players on the national team were playing in Sweden and America, and that their spot on the team never were in danger just because they weren’t able to train with Naisleijonat but she still couldn’t help worrying.


	9. The One With The 2016 World Championships In Kamloops, Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She spent a lot of time trying to catch up with everyone and at the same time saying goodbye since she would be moving again by the end of the summer. While she’d been living in Russia she had been able to fly home for a few weekends during the season but that would not be the case next year, since Dallas is a bit further from home than St. Petersburg. So in August, after only two months of being back in Finland she made the biggest move in her life. It was also the best move she’d ever done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the chapter is named after the championships even though I barely write about it, but I just couldn’t find a better title. 
> 
> The numbers of Alicia’s tattoo stands for: XV = 15 (the age she was when she started playing in the Finnish elite league and her first world championship), XVII = 17 (the age she was when she played in the Olympics and also when she got rid of Lukas), XVIII = 18 (the age she became captain and won gold in the world championships), XIX = 19 (her age when she joined the KHL and won. She also considers this as the age she truly grew as a person)
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set between early 2016 to the spring of 2017.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The World Championships 2016 In Kamloops, Canada

 

As it turns out, Alicia had nothing to worry about when it came to her place on the team. Her name was on the roster and next to it was a “C”.

 

The tournament started in the end of March and team Finland had already lost a few players to injury before training camp. They had a rough start in Kamloops and suffered even more injuries along the way, some more serious than others. Thanks to the hockey gods and a lot of skill from the players who were still standing they managed to drag themselves to the bronze medal game against the Czech Republic. Towards the end of the third period it was 1-1 and players were throwing themselves on the puck to keep it away from the goal. The regulation ended, and nothing happened during OT.

 

Everyone in the arena were on the edge of their seats as no one had believed that Finland was going to make it this far with this roster and the bad luck they’ve had. Alicia's and Noora's ritual were still in the spotlight, and many started to believe in its powers as Noora stopped all three pucks in the shootout and Alicia once again scored the winning goal. The two young women were of course named best goaltender and best forward.

 

Alicia had to go straight back to Russia after the championships and she felt so tired and beaten up even though they had won the bronze. She also felt so empty without her teammates. The emptiness came to an end as she landed in St. Petersburg and was greeted by a lot of Russian fans.

 

For the rest of the season Alicia gave hockey all she had, and it paid off. HC St. Petersburg won the cup and to no one’s surprise Alicia was named MVP. The day after their big cup-party the whole team visited a tattoo artist that one of the players knew. Alicia decided against a cup-tattoo and instead she had a bunch of roman numbers done on the inside of her right arm;

XV

XVII

XVIII

XIX

She left Russia with a heavy heart. She had made a lot of friends for life and had almost become fluent in speaking Russian.

 

When Alicia got back to Finland all she wanted to do was to meet everyone who she had missed all year. She spent a lot of time trying to catch up with everyone and at the same time saying goodbye since she would be moving again by the end of the summer. While she’d been living in Russia she had been able to fly home for a few weekends during the season but that would not be the case next year, since Dallas is a bit further from home than St. Petersburg. So in August, after only two months of being back in Finland she made the biggest move in her life. It was also the best move she’d ever done.

 

\-------------------

 

She would be living in the dorms, at least for the first year, and once she had settled in she had to attend a lot of meetings. Most of the information that she was given she already knew about. Like that the players on the college team were encouraged to try out for their respective national teams and the time they spend training with said teams they get credits for. The college even pays for plane tickets. This was one of the main reasons that made Alicia accept this scholarship.

 

Training started right away, and Alicia felt like she fit in perfectly. There were five other rookies joining the team this year and management were hoping that these five would wake up the team from their playoff-snooze they've had for the past seven seasons. The team was standing without a captain as the previous one had been demoted to alternate captain. Leading up to the season papers were speculating whether Alicia would become the new captain right away or if the coaches had decided to wait. Some were certain that there already was a jersey with a “C” on it and Andersson written on the back. Others thought it was too soon. One thing that they all agreed on was that Alicia would definitely be named captain at some point.

 

The season started, and Alicia did not have a letter on her jersey. She made her first goal in the first game and was of course awarded the puck. After three games, and with Alicia scoring two in each of them, the crowd were practicing their new chants of the season. One in particular only became louder and louder; “Make her captain, make her captain. She shoots, she scores, she's already gold. Alicia for captain! OUT WITH THE OLD!!”. The chants continued for a couple more games until one day Alicia stepped out on the ice with the “C” on her jersey. The loud cheers were deafening.

 

During their days off the team would go watch every Dallas Stars game they could. Alicia had really grown to love the team ever since she found out that she was going to move to Dallas. Nashville Predators had become her first NHL team that she cheered for and that would always have a special place in her heart. But Stars had taken over the number one spot since they were her first real home team (not counting Leijonat). After one of the games they were down in the tunnels and Alicia bumped into none other than Tyler Seguin. They both apologized but didn’t have time to say anything else as they were both being pulled in opposite directions by their respective teammates.

 

Alicia became an expert in ignoring jet lag as it was a state that she was constantly in, because she was flying between Finland and Dallas so much in December 2016 and January 2017. She wasn't the only one however as two other Finns on her team were doing the same thing. One of the girls she knew well as they had both played for Leijonat before but the other one was completely unknown. When the roster was published in March it stood clear that Alicia was once again captain and both her teammates from Dallas were going to join her in Plymouth for the world championships.


	10. The One With The 2017 World Championships In Plymouth, USA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People put a lot of pressure on Alicia and Noora and they were more than once called “Finland’s only hopes for a place in the quarterfinals”. Alicia felt most responsible because under her leadership they had fallen back to third place last year. No matter how many times Noora kept reminding her that Alicia couldn’t control the injuries that others suffered and that it was because of her that they had won two gold medals, she still blamed herself for last year.

The One With The World Championships 2017 In Plymouth, USA

 

There was a lot of talk back home in Finland about this year’s Naisleijonat. A big part of the team were rookies since many of last year’s players had retired for personal reasons or last year’s injuries. There were also three players who were pregnant, so there was still a chance that they would return sometime. People put a lot of pressure on Alicia and Noora and they were more than once called “Finland’s only hopes for a place in the quarterfinals”. Alicia felt most responsible because under her leadership they had fallen back to third place last year. No matter how many times Noora kept reminding her that Alicia couldn’t control the injuries that others suffered and that it was because of her that they had won two gold medals, she still blamed herself for last year.

 

The tournament started and Naisleijonat were doing pretty well. The other teams underestimated them in the beginning, and that gave the rookies time to get over their nerves and the feeling of not being good enough. Alicia was constantly shouting encouraging words on the bench and holding inspirational speeches in the locker room before every game.

 

They got themselves to the quarterfinals where they were playing against Russia. Alicia seemed to be the official target during the game and she took more hits than anyone else. She got up after every single hit with her head set on winning the game. With about 13 minutes left in the game, they were down two goals. Alicia was shoved head first into the glass and when there was no penalty called, Alicia shouted some well-chosen words in Russian. The commentators didn't hear what she said but the reaction from the Russian player made them laugh. The Russian player had been on Alicia’s team in St. Petersburg and knew Alicia as the quiet type, so she had not expected Alicia to yell at her.

 

A few minutes later Russia got a penalty for delaying the game and just as it was about to expire, Alicia set Michelle up with a perfect pass. Goal! The minutes ticked away and turned into seconds. They were going to lose. Noora had been on the bench for about three minutes for an extra attacker. A Russian player was about to score an empty-netter, when Jenni managed to poke the puck away. It landed on Alicia’s stick and the gave her final shot all she had, she knew they were too late anyway.

 

The horn sounded, and the Russians celebrated. Alicia had in fact surprised the goaltender, because she was already on her way out of the net, but it didn’t matter. For the first time in eighteen years, Finland would not even have a chance to fight for the bronze. Alicia wanted to lay down on the ice and scream. She had failed her team. She had failed her country. She skated towards the bench. She needed water.

“The play is under review!”

Alicia was just about to take a sip but stopped. She looked at head coach Mustonen to see if he had heard the same announcement, and by the look on his face he had. The commentators had no idea what was going on and were eager to find out the reason for the review. They played a video of the final seconds on the jumbotron and the puck clearly crosses the line, it’s only a question about time. The entire team is looking at Alicia and their expressions all say the same thing:

_“Do you believe you scored?”_

Alicia shakes her head. There is no way the puck crossed the line before the horn sounded. She could swear she heard it while the puck was still miles away. The video is still being shown, but this time with the time-stamp.

- _No way…_

Alicia whispered and then held her breath as the referee stepped back onto the ice.

\- After video review, it was determined that the puck completely crossed the goal-line with 0.1 seconds left on the clock. We have a good goal!

The Russians, who had stopped celebrating right after the first announcement, started to protest. But there was no use. The evidence was clear. Finland had scored.

The game went into over-time and everyone had already been tired before the end of regulation. But the Finns had found hope again, after just one minute Alicia scored the game winner from a tic-tac-toe pass from Jenni and Michelle. They still had a shot at a medal!

 

They won the semi-finals 1-0 against Canada all thanks to Noora’s amazing job in the net. This meant that they had guaranteed themselves a medal and they could still win gold.

 

Their opponents in the gold medal game were none other than last year’s winner USA. Even though Naisleijonat had found their confidence, they had no chance against USA. As it turns out they were still mad after Finland had beaten them in the semi-finals in 2015. Finland lost 0-4.

 

The taste of defeat was bitter. Alicia took her silver medal and went back to Dallas and tried to forget about the embarrassing final game. The season picked up after the championship break and they jumped straight into the playoffs (they had qualified weeks before worlds). The team shared Alicia’s need to win and that they did. This win took away the shame and disappointment from the defeat in Plymouth.

 

Alicia finished her first year of college and she was really proud of herself. She was going to get an education and at the same time she had the opportunity to focus on the thing she loved the most. Hockey. She was so happy that she was there on a hockey scholarship because she felt like she was done with all that academic stuff, luckily she didn't have to take too many classes.

 

\-------------------

 

During the summer break Alicia went back to Finland for a few weeks and realized that she was finally truly happy with where she was in her life. Sure, her hometown was cozy, but it was way too small, and she’d never liked the small-town gossip. There were far too many nosy people and she didn't like the fact that everyone knows everyone. She's clearly a big city girl. She visited some friends and vent on a trip with her sister to Germany.

 

While she was home her parents kept bringing up the future and what it was going to be like when she moves back to Finland, if it’s going to be more difficult to get a job with an American education than with a Finnish one. She didn't have the heart to tell them that right now she wasn't sure that she'd ever move back. At least not while she had a chance to play with Texas Blue Stars.

 

Alicia went back to Dallas in August and picked up the pace in her training. She'd been a little lazy during the summer, but she was quickly getting back into top shape. Three weeks into the semester her coach called her to a private meeting. There she found out that the Blue Stars wanted her on their team. Since she was still in college she would only play during home games, and probably not too many of them. This meant that Alicia was now training with three teams at once on three different levels. Before she signed her contract with the Blue Stars she had asked that there’d be a clause that would let her training for the next Olympics go before the Stars.

 

Just like last year the girls tried to go to as many Dallas Stars games as they possibly could. After one game she once again found herself passing by Tyler Seguin and Jamie Benn, two of her favorite players. While walking past them she managed to say:

\- Well played btw…

She didn’t have time to say anything else before she was being dragged away by her friends. Had she known that Tyler then had turned around to say something to her AND that he had been very interested in her success and that he might have a little crush. Then she might have stayed and talked. She might have given him an extra smile to show him that her too was quite interested. However, she could not read minds and she did not think about turning around as she couldn’t even imagine that Tyler freaking Seguin would ever be interested in her.

 

\-------------------

 

By January 2018 Alicia had played ten games with the Blue Stars and she had at least one point in each of them. Before mid- January Alicia stopped training with both her American teams and instead put all her focus on Naisleijonat. When the Olympic roster was published all eyes were suddenly on her again. She would be continuing as captain and this meant that she’d be the youngest captain in Olympic history. This would be her sixth world record and so far, no one had come close to breaking them. She gave a lot of interviews for newspapers, radio and TV. She was kind of slowly becoming a celebrity in the States as well.

 

Alicia was getting her equipment fixed by the Dallas Stars equipment management as they were already handling the gear for their own players that were going to the Olympics. Among them were three Finns that Alicia had gotten to know through playing for team Finland (Kari Lehtonen, Esa Lindell and Julius Honka). Alicia was good friends with Esa, not as good with Julius but at least they were friendly.

 

Tyler's POV:

Tyler was scrolling through his computer and his eyes landed on a new article about Alicia Andersson. There was a picture of her smiling and looking away from the camera. Tyler could feel butterflies in his stomach by just looking at the picture. He'd had a crush on this girl for a while now and really wanted to ask her out. He was always looking for her in the crowd during home games as he knew where the girls from Texas Uni would be sitting with their season tickets. They sometimes made eye contact and she would give him a little shy smile that made his knees go weak. They had been to a few of the same parties, but he still couldn't bring himself to go talk to her. He was afraid that his reputation as a “party boy” would scare her away.

\- What are you doing?

Tyler jumped as his best friend and captain Jamie Benn suddenly was standing right behind him and speaking directly into his ear.

\- Nothing…

Tyler mumbled and closed the lid on the laptop. Jamie just laughed at his pathetic attempt to hide the article.

Jamie had noticed that Tyler had eyes for this girl and the fact that he didn't do anything about it just made it clearer for Jamie that Tyler really liked her. Jamie decided to call Esa Lindell and ask him if he knew something that could help in this situation.

 

Jamie and Esa ended up in Kari Lehtonen’s house, along with Julius, to talk about Tyler and Alicia. Jamie knew that Esa sometimes hung out with Alicia, but he also found out that Kari had known her longer since they both had been to the Olympics in Sochi and had spent a lot of time together there. Julius was there because his girlfriend was on the same team as Alicia here in Dallas, so he might have some more intel that the others didn’t. As it turns out, Julius’ girlfriend had told him that Alicia was currently single and that she’d given some careful signals that she had a crush on Tyler. From there they just started plotting how they would introduce the two lovebirds to each other during the Olympics in PyeongChang, even if they needed to use mild force.

 

Alicia's POV:

It was finally time to go to Korea. The Leijonat management had arranged so that all the Finnish hockey players in the states would be on the same plane. So, there was a very blue and white bunch that were standing together and laughing at LAX before departure. A lot of fans came up and asked for autographs from these big NHL players, as well as from Alicia and Michelle. Someone had filmed them when they were walking to their gate and posted it with the caption “squad goals”. The video showed the Finnish players as they all passed by wearing a dark blue suit with a light blue shirt, carrying identical bags with the Finnish Lion on them. The girls weren’t wearing a suit, but their jackets were the same color as the boy’s suits. This video would be playing on TV for the next few days as well as blowing up on social media.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NHL players were allowed to play in the 2018 Olympics. The end. (No, I’m not still bitter about the fact that they didn’t…what do you mean?). I have no idea if there are any planes flying between LAX and PyeongChang, but I wanted to mention one airport and decided on LAX.
> 
> If there’s anyone wondering why Michelle is suddenly in America, it’s because I decided that she signed with the Blue Stars the same season Alicia started playing in St. Petersburg. Michelle and Alicia have played on the same line ever since Alicia first joined the team (both in worlds and in the Finnish league). They have also played together in every one of Alicia’s few games with the Blue Stars. Alicia had moved out of the dorms last fall, and they had gotten an apartment together.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set between the spring of 2017 to January 2018.
> 
> For those of you who are interested, there is a part two to this story. It’s a side-story about Mikko Rantanen and Gabriel Landeskog. It was after I published that, that I decided to dust off my old Alicia story and publish it. Anyway that part of the story is actually happening during this chapter, late October 2017.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...


	11. The One With The Winter Olympics In PyeongChang 2018

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia was standing with Noora and Michelle at a table and started scanning the room to see if there was anyone else they knew, until her gaze fell upon a pair of brown eyes that she'd been fantasizing about ever since she moved to Dallas. These eyes belonged to Tyler Seguin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this turned into a real monster (for me). The original version had a little over 3600 words and when I edited it I deleted a lot of stuff and thought it would be way shorter but nope. When I was done I had over 4100 words…Turns out I’d added way more. I thought about splitting it in half but decided against it. 
> 
> I mention Gus Kenworthy in this one very briefly. He was originally mentioned already in the 2014 Olympics chapter, and a few times after that. So he had a bigger role in this story originally but back when I started editing this story I didn't really feel like he needed to be there. If anyone wants me to put him back in the older chapters, I'm sure it can be arranged. 
> 
> I don’t know what else to explain. If there’s anything that doesn’t make sense, just let me know 😊 
> 
> Iltalehti is a Finnish newspaper (literally translated it means “Evening paper”). 
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter only covers the 2018 Olympics.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The Winter Olympics In PyeongChang 2018

 

When they landed in Korea the training started, but even though the Olympics is a very serious event they all managed to still have fun during their stay. Both Leijonat teams spammed the Instagram account with videos of everyone being either super serious or just goofing around. Most of the hockey players enjoyed playing volleyball, so when they weren’t on the ice or at the gym they had their own little volleyball tournament with mixed teams. Someone was always filming it and posting it on Instagram, and the followers really enjoyed it.

 

The building that team Finland was going to live in during the Olympics had a “penthouse”. When management had found out about this they decided that they were going to have the hockey teams share it. As it turns out, the arrangement was perfect since these fifty-ish people had so much in common and everyone respected each other’s routines. The fact that their training was very similar made it so that a large group, mixed with both men and women, could leave together and go do the same things. Hence the many volleyball games.

 

The opening ceremony just flew by and Alicia walked in with Mikko Rantanen and Esa Lindell. Instead of talking about hockey or the Olympics in general the trio started planning their next reunion for their friend group that they were all a part of. This group consisted of Juuse Saros (Nashville), Julius Honka (Dallas), Olli Määttä (Pittsburgh), Aleksander Barkov (Florida), Sebastian Aho (Carolina), Kasperi Kapanen (Toronto), Teuvo Teräväinen (Carolina), Markus Nutivaara (Columbus) and the few female players that were playing in North America.

While they were walking in, the Finns who were watching this on TV once again heard the commentators mentioning that Alicia again was the only one representing the Swedish-speaking Finns. But mostly they talked about her being the youngest captain in Olympic history. You’d think that it should have been old news considering she had broken that same record in the world championships three years prior, but they just loved talking about it.

 

The first game that the Naisleijonat played was against USA. Alicia knew a couple of the players because they play together in Dallas, so it was kind of a weird feeling playing against her friends. She’d had the same problem last year when they played against Russia. Not only did Alicia have friends on the ice but in the crowd as well. Her brother and his friends had decided that their annual trip would be to Korea this time, when Alicia had said that she could get them into any Olympic event they wanted. The gang were all big hockey fans, so they jumped on the chance to get to watch all the men’s games live. They had also grown to like women’s hockey during the past years, so Alicia didn’t need to convince them to attend her games too. They would be there. The game was relatively clean, considering de rivalry that had grown between the two teams the last few years, and it ended in favor of Finland with 3-2.

 

That same night there was a little “party” happening in team Canada’s building. Alicia had first decided not to go but when a lot of the Finnish players were going she couldn’t say no. Especially not when Esa, Kari and Julius had put on their puppy dog eyes. It turned out to be a very good decision.

 

Alicia had maybe two drinks and then decided that she wasn't going to have any more. She was still having a great time talking to a bunch of new people as well as reuniting with a couple of girls she played with in Russia. At the party there were mostly Canadians, Americans and Finns. Just a few Russians and Swedes. Alicia was standing with Noora and Michelle at a table and started scanning the room to see if there was anyone else they knew, until her gaze fell upon a pair of brown eyes that she'd been fantasizing about ever since she moved to Dallas. These eyes belonged to Tyler Seguin. Alicia was just about to shyly look away when Tyler started to walk towards her. She felt her mouth go dry and her palms were sweating. When he was finally right in front of her she was sure he could hear how fast her heart was beating. She was kind of expecting him to just walk past her to someone standing behind her, but he didn't. He stopped at their table and looked down at her, smiled shyly and said hi. Noora and Michelle, who'd been following this whole situation, looked knowingly at each other and quietly excused themselves and then just faded away. Alicia didn’t hear or even notice them disappear.

 

They talked for hours and Alicia felt herself loosen up even though she'd mostly been drinking water that night. Alicia had been scared to talk to guys at bars since forever, with the exception of Gabe Landeskog during the last Olympics, so she was very surprised when it felt so easy to talk to Tyler. They talked about everything they possibly could and Tyler admitted that he'd been wanting to ask her out forever, Alicia gave a little laugh and said that she'd been wanting to say yes forever. Suddenly they found themselves making out in a quiet corner. Alicia felt that they both kind of wanted to take it a step further and when she broke the kiss there was a small sigh of disappointment from both of them. They laughed at their own reactions, but decided it was best to leave it like this. When Alicia unlocked her phone for Tyler to put his number in she saw a text from Noora: “ _I REFUSE TO BE SEXILED!!!!”._ Alicia shook her head, swiped the message away and handed the phone to Tyler and received his in return. He followed her to her building, which was only 200 meters away, and gave her a good night kiss before he walked back to his own building.

 

Alicia snuck into her and Noora's room unsure if Noora was sleeping or still at the party. It turned out that Noora was in the room and sitting on her bed with the biggest grin anyone could imagine. Alicia just shook her head and went to brush her teeth. When she came back she told Noora everything but left out the fact that they'd exchanged numbers. Noora had been the protective older sister, and one of the now four people who knew about her past with Lukas, so she was very skeptical towards any guy who approached Alicia. By now she was an expert in reading Alicia’s body-language, so she knew exactly when Alicia was uncomfortable and needed rescue. Many if the guys that Noora wanted to keep away from Alicia were the frat boy type, and since Tyler kind of fell under that same category Alicia decided to keep it quiet for now.

 

Tyler's POV:

 

Tyler was at practice the following day and just skated around the rink when he was suddenly stopped by Jamie.

\- Soo...plan was to introduce you to Alicia yesterday, but it seems like you fixed that on your own. Said Jamie.

 Tyler just laughed and hit Jamie with his stick and skated off. Jamie watched his best friend proudly and thought that Tyler really had come a long way this past year. It was no secret that he liked the company of women but lately there had been fewer of them. Jamie had also kept an eye on Tyler when he'd been glued to his phone earlier and could see that he was smiling and really thinking about what he was going to write next. He hoped that Tyler had finally found the right girl for him.

 

Alicia's POV:

 

Two days later Finland was playing Canada and somehow Alicia had spotted Tyler in the crowd. They had texted and snapchatted a lot during these last couple of days, but he'd not told her he was going to be at the game. On the other hand, it made sense for him to be there as he was Canadian and wanted to support his fellow countrymen, or women in this case. But Alicia did feel kind of special when he showed thumbs up when he saw that she was looking at him.

 

This game was way more intense than the one against USA. Penalties were handed out and Alicia was sure that there was always at least one player in either of the penalty boxes for over half of the second period. You’d think there was a medal on the line, considering the roughness of the game. Luckily it was mostly Canada that played shorthanded and Alicia was really grateful for that. She was always going on to her team about how she didn’t approve of unnecessary penalties, especially against teams like Canada and USA. She’d been afraid that the Canadians would have crushed them with like 10-2 instead of the more humane numbers 4-2. It was a tough loss, but Naisleijonat had a guaranteed spot in the quarterfinals because they were playing in the tougher group.

 

The next day Alicia didn’t have any free time. The social media team for the Olympics had approached her earlier about doing a segment about how players from different sports still had similar routines. That’s how she met freestyle skier Gus Kenworthy. The cameras followed them around all day until Alicia had to go practice with the team and the cameras weren’t allowed to come along.

 

In the last game of the preliminary round Naisleijonat were going to meet the Olympic Athletes from Russia, or OAR as they were being called now. It was once again a very intense game as OAR had lost all of their previous games and wanted some revenge. If Finland won they would place second in their group, which meant they would have an easier opponent in the quarterfinals. The game ended with Finland winning 5-1 and would be fighting against Sweden for a spot in the semi-finals.

 

After the game against Russia, one of the younger players were being interviewed by Iltalehti about how she was handling her finals when she was missing so much study time because of the Olympics. She just laughed and said that this was her studying. She only had English and Swedish this spring and since she was speaking English every day she got to practice that. She had also asked Alicia to only talk to her in Swedish. Alicia walked by right then, on her way to her own interview, and just said in Swedish:

_\- That's right!_

 

That evening there was a small party in team USA’s building. Alicia was introduced to Jamie and he told her about the scheme they'd planned with Esa, Julius and Kari to get Tyler to finally talk to her. Jamie left to go talk to his partners in crime and left Tyler and Alicia alone. This time they went all the way. Alicia had planned to wait but she was afraid that this would end if she didn't sleep with Tyler. Her ex had really destroyed her self-esteem. Afterwards they talked and laughed. Their first time hadn't been awkward at all and it felt like they'd known each other forever. Tyler wanted her to stay the night but knew it wasn't possible, because of the rules and she didn't have the heart to lock out Jamie from his own room for a whole night. So, after a little cuddling Tyler followed her to her building.

 

When Alicia stepped inside the apartment she wasn't expecting anyone to be in the “common room/kitchen”. She thought people would either be at the party or sleeping, especially the guys since they had a game the next day. That's why she almost jumped out of her skin when Pekka Rinne and Aleksander Barkov suddenly started moving in the kitchen. She talked to the guys for a few minutes until she went to her room where Noora was already sleeping.

 

The next morning Alicia woke up to the sound of Noora dropping her hairbrush. She started apologizing for the noise but stopped mid-sentence and suddenly had an evil grin.

_\- Nice hickey...sorry hickeyS_

Alicia was suddenly wide awake and grabbed her neck where she could suddenly feel Tyler's mouth making said marks last night. She knew that there were a few more a bit lower that were being covered by her t-shirt. Thank God! She vaguely remembered planting a couple on Tyler herself, but she'd made sure they’d be hidden underneath his t-shirt. Alicia sat up in her bed and suddenly remembered talking to Pekka and Aleksander the night before. She really hoped that it'd been too dark for them to see her marks, otherwise she’d never stop hearing about it. Alicia snapped a photo of her hickeys and sent them to Tyler with the caption: “Thank you?”. During that time Noora had gone to the bathroom and then returned with her make-up bag. She covered Alicia's marks and then demanded her to tell her about the night before. A little later Tyler sent a picture back of his very empty neck: “No, thank YOU for leaving your marks low enough to be hidden!”

 

The next day it was time for Finland to play Sweden in the quarterfinals. Alicia's marks were covered up, but she was still a bit worried that she would sweat and/or accidentally wipe the makeup away. Finland dominated the game and won 7-2. Everybody was feeling amazing. They had a chance at a medal and they kicked Sweden's ass (which btw still had two more games to play to see where they would place in the tournament). Alicia was smiling through her interviews and became even happier when she found out that the make-up was still intact and that she hadn't shown the entire world that she was getting laid. When she met Tyler later that night she went straight for the neck instead of kissing his lips. He just laughed and let her have her revenge. He later asked her if she’d let him take her out on a date when they were back in Dallas. She said yes.

 

It was finally time for the semi-finals. They were going to play against a revengeful USA. Both teams created a lot of chances but neither of the goaltenders wanted to be the first one to let the puck through. The first goal came in the second half of the third period and it was the Americans who tricked Noora. Alicia could tell from half-way across the ice that Noora was pissed. With 56 seconds left on the clock it seemed like Finland was going to be playing in the bronze game once again. Then the puck was suddenly on Noora’s stick who sent it flying across the ice towards Alicia who had just jumped off the bench. She was alone on that half of the ice and the American defense didn't manage to get to her on time. She sent the puck right past the glove of the goaltender. 1-1. Overtime: no goals. Shootout: Finland scored 2/3 and USA 1/3. Finland was in the gold medal game! Against Canada.

 

Alicia went to dinner with Noora, Michelle, Alicia's brother Thomas and his friends. They were celebrating the semi-final win. They guys were of course going tomorrow and were debating which time it would be best to go to the arena. When they were done the boys hugged Alicia and wished them all good luck since they wouldn’t have time to see each other tomorrow before the game.

 

D-Day!! The girls were finally collecting themselves after some of them had been running like crazy in the corridors outside the locker room. Legs were twitching, and people were fiddling nervously with tape rolls and skate laces. Alicia stood up on the bench in front of her locker.

_\- This is what we have been training for. This is what we've all been dreaming about for so long. No matter how it goes today we are still leaving with a well-earned medal. We have all been working our asses off for this! Let's not think about how the game will end. Just think about going out there and have fun. Play because you love it. Play for your country. Play for yourselves. We deserve this. We have earned our place on the podium. No matter what the numbers will show at the end of the night, we'll know that we have the best team in the tournament and we've dominated the crap out of it! Let’s do this!!!_

The team were all on their feet and applauding their captain. Suddenly they were heading to the ice. Alicia had spotted her brother and the gang during warm-ups as well as the male Leijonat and Tyler and Jamie (and the entire male Canadian hockey team).

 

The puck dropped, and shit was going down! The shots were hard, and the penalties were many, just like it had been when they had played against each other earlier in the tournament. Canada scored first and that poured gasoline over the already raging fire. Alicia's line was on the ice and after she served a backwards pass to Michelle the puck was suddenly behind the Canadian goaltender. The game was tied. During the second period Alicia had broken a pass and was now skating with the puck towards the net. She was suddenly falling as one of the Canadians had tripped her. Alicia still had her eyes on the puck and while sliding on her stomach she managed to push the puck with her stick right past the goaltender, who thought the game had already been blown off for tripping. This was the goal of the tournament! A few minutes later Jenni took a hit which lead to another powerplay for Naisleijonat. Michelle took the face-off, which she won, and the puck ended up right on Alicia's stick who put such power behind the shot, that Alexander Ovechkin himself should be jealous of. Goal!!!! Only two seconds into the powerplay.

 

The third period started. Finland was leading with two goals. Half the period went by when suddenly everything went silent. Alicia shot the puck to the corner and headed towards the bench. She did not see the giant Canadian that was skating right towards her in full speed. Something made a noise, like a tree branch breaking. Pain. _Why was she feeling pain?_ Falling. _But why?_ Another noise, like a crack. Was it a helmet breaking or the sound of a skull crashing? Everything is dark. Everything is quiet. _Am I breathing? What is happening?_

 

“The Finnish captain is down! I did not see what just happened, let's hope we can get a replay on that.”

 

The commentators were going crazy. They had not seen what went down as they were following the puck that was on the other end of the ice. Alicia was lying pretty much in the center of the ice. She wasn't moving. The Finnish players had jumped up from the bench as soon as the collision happened, and the incident was now playing on the jumbotron. The medics were kneeling by Alicia now. Both Finns and Canadians. Alicia's brother had jumped up as soon as it happened and was now making his way down from where he was sitting with someone from team Finland's management.

 

Alicia was soaring in darkness and pain. She knew something had happened. She'd fallen but she believes that everything went dark before she hit the ice. There's a smell. Smelling salt! She thinks someone is trying to talk to her. _Can I open my eyes?_ Suddenly everything is light again, but it's blurry. Alicia blinks a couple of times. She can see now. _But it’s too bright!_ She closes her eyes again.

_\- Shoulder..left_

Alicia managed to say two words. The medics guessed from the position her arm was in that her shoulder was dislocated. The crowd was quiet, but they'd noticed that Alicia was conscious, so the tension had lifted a little. Someone asked Alicia to move her legs and they were all relieved when she could move both of them without much trouble. No damage to the spine then. They got her to open her eyes again and checked them with a little light. They got her into a sitting position, someone was right behind her, holding her up because she couldn’t do it on her own. They put her arm into a temporary sling and noticed at the same time that there definitely was something wrong with her elbow too. Someone removed her helmet and as soon as it came off Alicia’s right hand went straight to the back of her head, she then looked at her hand and then did the same thing one more time. There was nothing on her hand, but she might have been checking for blood. A fourth medic was checking her helmet and there was a large crack in it. Yeah, she’d definitely been checking for blood. Alicia said that she couldn't sit anymore so they slowly got her lying back down on the ice. Someone put a towel under her head, so she wouldn't lie with her head directly on the ice. A stretcher had been brought to the ice and they managed to get Alicia onto it. As they were rolling her away the people in the crowd started applauding. She was about to give the thumbs up to the cameras but couldn’t do it before she was surrounded by total darkness again.

 

Alicia’s brother met the crew by the ambulance and he was ushered in. He texted his friends that they were going straight to the hospital and that someone from the Leijonat management probably could get them a ride to there later.

 

The player that on purpose had skated into Alicia had been escorted off the ice.

 

Finland won the gold by not letting Canada stay in the Finnish zone long enough the create any chances. When helmets and gloves had been thrown on the ice, and the players had been skating around celebrating, it was time to hand out some awards. Alicia had again been voted MVP and one of the assistant coaches accepted the award in her stead, since coach Mustonen had gone to the hospital with her. After the awards and medals had been handed out it was time for the group picture on the ice. Someone had run into the locker room to get Alicia's spare jersey, so Andersson #96 was being held in the front of the picture even though she wasn't there herself.

 

Alicia was out cold for almost two days. Noora and Thomas never left her side. When she woke up and managed to stay awake for several hours at the time, she was allowed to have more visitors. The team came and said hi but couldn’t stay long before the nurses wanted them to leave. Michelle hung Alicia’s gold medal from the IV stand. At some point she had a panic attack that lasted for a long time, and it was the result of her realizing she couldn’t remember anything from the week before the hit. It was all just blank. After four days in the hospital, Thomas flight was set to depart. He wanted to re-book it but everyone convinced him he should fly back. He couldn’t miss work, and Alicia was in good hands.

 

The hit had dislocated her left shoulder, broken the elbow of the same arm, resulted in some memory loss and one hell of a concussion. The doctors had been worried about whether she’d be able to speak when she woke up but luckily there had been no trouble there. She had however lost the ability to speak Russian, as proven when one of her HC St. Petersburg teammates had come to visit and Alicia couldn’t say a word.

 

One night, a bunch of her memories came back. She couldn’t remember the hit, but she could remember falling.

_\- SHIT MY MOM SAW ME GET INJURED!!!_

Alicia winced at the sound of her own voice.

Noora had been napping in a chair in the corner of the room, but was woken up by Alicia’s sudden, and very unpredicted outburst.

_\- Well she’d missed the live version, but before your dad could turn off the TV she was back to watch all the replays…Thomas talked to her on the phone though…several times and he got her to calm down._

Noora neglected to mention that she’d head Thomas’ and Alicia’s mom scream on the phone, and she knew enough Swedish to know that the mom had decided that Alicia’s hockey career was over.

 

Alicia was allowed to walk around for a few paces a couple of times a day. Her head was killing her, and she couldn’t stand lights, but she was still feeling okay, especially considering that the fall could have ended her ability to walk. It could have ended her ability to do anything at all.

 


	12. The One With The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- It’s alive!!  
> \- You look like crap! Someone else felt the need to joke.  
> \- Yeah, well I still look a lot better than all of you hungover idiots. Alicia chirped back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no clue about how long the recovery time should have been for Alicia, but this is how it turned out.
> 
> About the tattoo situation. Alicia’s mom found out about the Olympic tattoo after she had turned 18. She found out about the one she’d had made in Russia as soon as Alicia came back to Finland. She also found out about the Lumos tattoo sometime after Alicia had turned 18, but obviously she has no idea that Alicia had that done when she was 16.
> 
> Alicia’s mom never found out what Lukas had done to her, so that’s why she brings him into the conversation. Had she known, she would have never brought him up in the conversation.
> 
> Pommac is a non-alcoholic drink (I think it’s from Sweden originally) that’s often a substitute for champagne for those who doesn’t drink alcohol. It’s supposed to taste like fruit and berries, and it’s quite good.
> 
> Also, there’s a separate part for the relationship between Gabe and Mikko, so if you are interested please go read that too. I’ve been thinking about continuing their story after I’m done with this.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapters takes place in February 2018 (right after the Olympics) to March 2019.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The Aftermath

 

When it was time to leave Korea Alicia was feeling better, she was still dreading the long flight, but she knew she could do it. She was originally going to travel back to the States with parts of the American athletes but because of her injury she had been benched for a while and was instead going back to Finland with the others to recover. So here she was, wearing sunglasses in February, leaning on Mikko Rantanen who was helping her board the plane. Noora was walking right behind them, carrying Alicia’s bag. When she entered the plane, looking very pale and tired, someone commented;

-  _It’s alive!!_

 _\- You look like crap!_ Someone else felt the need to joke.

-  _Yeah, well I still look a lot better than all of you hungover idiots._ Alicia chirped back.

The flight caused no trouble and Alicia managed to sleep for most of it, but when it was time to land she felt like her head was going to explode. The next day there was going to be a HUGE celebration on the market square in Helsinki since both the male and female Leijonat had won gold. Alicia was hoping that she would feel well enough to participate.

And that she was. She was standing on the stage with all the winners and the square was filled with people. She was forced to the front of the stage along with Mikko Koivu (the captain of the male Leijonat) to say a few words. Mikko was kind of drunk but still managed to say something that made sense and then something about the champagne tasting like gold. Alicia also found something deep to say and ended with mentioning that the Pommac she was drinking probably tasted better than Mikko's gold champagne. She obviously didn’t stay there for too long since she was still very weak and easily got dizzy.

 

After about a month of recovering in Finland, Alicia was finally ready to go back to the States. She was obviously not going to play anymore this season, but the Blue Stars management wanted to be the ones to oversee her rehabilitation. Her shoulder had stopped hurting before she came back to the states, and she had no more headaches. It was the elbow that caused the most trouble. After some consideration the team doctor decided that surgery was the best option. Alicia was skeptical, but she knew this was her best choice. She was not ready for her career to be over, even if her mother constantly was telling her that she wasn’t allowed to play anymore. She was actually surprised that her head had been able to heal this well, despite her mother’s constant nagging that she needed to quit hockey and focus on school instead. The only thing that got her mom to let her leave for Dallas was Alicia using her own words against her.

_\- I need to focus on school, remember? In order for me to do that I actually have to be in the right country._

So, between school and rehab Alicia had little time to spend with Tyler. They were getting towards the end of the regular season and the Stars weren’t in a playoff spot. When the season officially ended for the Stars Tyler was very disappointed. To get his mind off it he decided that it was finally time for him to take Alicia on their first official date.

Spending more time with Tyler proved to be the best thing. She was slowly getting back more of her memories from the days before the hit. She also got her ability to speak Russian back when she was introduced to Tyler’s teammate Alexander Radulov, and he kept talking to her in Russian.

 

Alicia’s college team had made it to the playoffs and won it in honor of their captain. The Blue Stars made the playoffs too but were eliminated in the first round after an even series.

 

\-------------------

 

By the end of the semester Alicia and Tyler went their separate ways, Alicia to Finland and Tyler to Canada. Even though there was a huge time difference between the two countries, they still managed to talk, text or skype every day.

 

Because of the injury, Alicia had missed all the deadlines for summer job applications and decided that it was best for her to not work at all this summer. For that her mother was furious.

_\- You could at least call your boss and tell them about your situation, I’m sure she’ll find some shifts for you. They know you there! You been working there since you were fourteen!_

_\- Have you forgot about what happened to me? It’s not like I ignored the deadline just to mess with you. I genuinely was not capable of thinking about it! And what do you think I can do there. I can’t work the register, because I can’t stare at a screen for eight hours and my arm can’t handle those repetitive movements. I can’t work the shelves either because I’m not supposed to lift anything heavy for at least another month! I need my arm back to 100 % if I’m going to play next fall!_

_\- But you are not going to play! Ever again!_

_\- I’M PLAYING AND YOU HAVE NO SAY IN THIS!_

_\- I am your mother and as long as you live under my roof…_

_\- BUT I’M NOT LIVING UNDER YOUR ROOF, AM I? Haven’t been for almost three years. I’m old enough to make this decision about my own future._

Her mom knew she was right but wouldn’t drop it.

_\- So, you are just going to always ignore my opinion? You started talking about tattoos when you were little just because your brother got one. You were there for the discussion I had with him and knew I didn’t approve. And what did you do as soon as you turned eighteen? You went and got your own…_

Alicia wanted to tell her mom that she’d gotten the tattoos when she was sixteen and seventeen, but she knew it wouldn’t help in this situation.

_\- …You knew what I thought about you moving to Russia, but there you went anyway. You knew I didn’t like it when you chose to go to college on the other side of the world, but there you went. You know…I’ve regretted letting you play pretty much since I gave my permission so that you could go to Burlington when you were fifteen. I was sure you’d outgrow it. Hockey is not for little girls._

That put an end to Alicia’s silence.

_\- So you regret letting me be happy? You regret letting me be independent? Because that’s what I learned in Russia. I learned how to be strong and I learned how to take care of myself! And hockey is for everyone! Have you even noticed how much women’s hockey have grown since it first started? Of course not, because it doesn’t interest you! Well it should! Because hockey is a part of your daughter’s life! Me! Your youngest daughter! You are supposed to support me. I’m not smoking or doing drugs. I play hockey. I live a healthy lifestyle. I make good choices! I’m happy!_

_-_ _You didn’t talk back like this when you were dating Lukas. What happened between you two? He had such a good influence on you._

_\- Don’t. Ever. Mention. Him. Again._

With that, Alicia stormed out. She stayed with a friend for the rest of the day, and when she went home later that night it was only to pack a bag. She stayed with her sister and her husband for the next week.

 

Alicia spent the rest of June and most of July travelling around Finland, catching up with old teammates and friends. Her mom had calmed down and they texted a bunch of times. Alicia returned home, only to pack for the Leijonat development camp, that’s when her mom came into her room.

_\- Of course I care about you being happy. You’re my daughter and I only want what’s best for you. But when you never talk to me, I don’t know what’s going on in your life. How can I know that you are happy? You haven’t seemed very happy in a long time. I barely see you laugh anymore, and if I do it’s on TV._

Her mom was calm for once.

_\- Well, if you see that I’m happy only when playing hockey, then maybe you should put two and two together and realize that it’s the truth. I’m happy when I get to do the thing I love the most. Everyone around me knew what they wanted to be when they grew up and now they are all studying to become teachers, doctors, lawyers and even marine biologists! I never found anything I wanted more than hockey. I would be miserable if I attended university here and studied something I couldn’t fully commit to. So, when Dallas happened I had no choice but to go. I chose to go to Russia before that just to prepare you that I was in fact going to move to the other side of the world. I won’t play forever, I might even be forced to retire when I’m 25. But I’m healthy right now and I’ll want to play for as long as I can._

_\- What about starting a family? Will you ever find a man with your busy schedule? Maybe it would help if you started to behave a little more like a woman…_

_\- …are you seriously saying that you only care about grandkids? And I’m very much a woman. I might not wear dresses or whatever you think a woman should do. But it’s 2018! It’s not about what people wear or how we act, it’s simply about who we are! We can be whoever we want to, and it would be so much easier if people stopped judging each other._

_\- So, what are you saying?_

_\- I’m saying that I’m leaving for Dallas as soon as we are done with camp. And I think it’s best if I get my own apartment here next summer._

_\- …_

_\- I can see that you have something you want to add. Are you still on the “act like a woman” thing?_

_\- Of course not. It’s just…I was raised in a stricter household. You know how your grandmother was. Things were supposed to be a certain way. Certain things couldn’t be out of the ordinary. We weren’t as strict with the three of you, but I know that I brought a few of my mother’s ideas into your upbringing. Yet all of you seems to have a whole different perspective of the world than your father and I. Especially you. It’s like you were raised by someone else. You see the world in a whole different light._

_\- I think living in Russia gave me 10 years of life-experience._

_\- You had your own ideas way before then, but yeah, Russia changed you even more. If you think hockey and Dallas is what’s best for you, I trust you._

\-------------------

 

After hockey camp Alicia stayed with her parents for a few days before she left for the states. They drove her to the airport where they said their goodbyes. Her mom hugged her for a long time and said:

_\- I love you so much! You’ll always be my little girl no matter where in the world you are!_

_\- I love you too!_

At the gate she met up with Michelle, and they started talking about whether they should get a bigger place this fall or not.

 

\-------------------

 

Tyler had decided to come back to Dallas sooner than usual and was being teased for that by his friends.

\- Oh you are so gone for her already!!

\- Shut up!

Alicia and Tyler spent more time together, making up for all the lost time during the summer. She met more of Tyler’s teammates and became good friends with most of the guys, especially with John Klingberg and Jamie. Jamie became like a brother to her and they could literally talk about anything with each other. Alicia started to get invited to a lot of their team-parties that the guys threw, and she sometimes brought a few of her own teammates.

 

\-------------------

 

When it was time to start training for real Alicia was contacted by the Blue Stars. This year they wanted to make her alternate captain for their home games and then of course make her a more regular player. They'd lost their captain after some trouble with renewing her contract and now wanted to keep the spot open for Alicia until she graduates, provided that she intended to sign with them full time. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. They were actually willing to let their team be without a captain for two whole seasons. More importantly; they wanted her as captain. Another thing she couldn't believe was that Noora called her one day in September and asked if she could crash with Alicia and Michelle for a while since she'd recently signed with the Blue Stars to be the starting goaltender. They screamed together on the phone.

 

Before she was allowed to start skating again, the trainers made Alicia go through a bunch of tests to make sure that she was truly okay to start playing. She passed with flying colors, but she would be playing with a taped elbow from now on, as well as shoulder. When it was time for the first game of the season the coaches had made Alicia promise that she would leave the ice if she started to get dizzy. Her head had hit the ice with such force, so no one had thought she’d recover this quickly. The trainers kept an extra eye on her. She was a bit shaky in the beginning and tensed up if anyone from the opposing team skated too close, but as the game went on she could feel her old self making a comeback. She scored a goal and had two assists.

 

\-------------------

 

Tyler knew about Alicia’s asshole ex-boyfriend, but she’d never mentioned the hitting and her plan had been to never let him know. The plan crashed and burned however when Alicia one day was standing in Tyler's kitchen chopping carrots. Tyler had made a fast motion with his arm close to her face, just trying to get something from the cupboard over her head. Alicia had flinched, dropped the knife, and taken a few steps away from him. She had automatically raised her arm in order to protect herself. Tyler had been confused for about three seconds when he saw the look of terror in Alicia’s eyes.

\- No…

Tyler had barely whispered the word. He was so shocked when he realized what could have made Alicia have that kind of reaction. Before Tyler could say anything else Ali mumbled something like:

\- Didn't see you come in…

Tyler slowly took a step towards her, but then stopped. He didn’t want to scare her any further. Alicia sank to the floor. Tyler wanted so much to hold her. He started to quietly ask:

\- Can I…

\- Please hold me…

Tyler didn’t need to be told twice. He sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap. He wrapped her in his strong arms and whispered:

\- I could never…never ever do anything to hurt you. You need to know that. You will always be safe here. I love you so much.

I was the first time either of them had said the three magic words. Alicia finally looked him in the eyes, the look of terror was long gone and replaced with the shine of tears.

\- I love you too.

They sat like that for what seemed like hours and when Tyler once again said that she would always be safe here. Alicia started speaking again.

\- I know. That’s why I love you so much…You know, I always steal your shirts to sleep in when we are not together, because they smell like you and I know you are safe.

\- You can steal as many shirts you want.

Alicia told him everything about Lukas and Tyler only hugged her tighter. Dinner was completely forgotten, but neither of them cared. Tyler never wanted to let go of the love of his life. He swore to himself that she would never be scared like that again.

 

\-------------------

 

So right now, Alicia was living with two of her absolute best friends, she was captain of her successful college hockey team and the alternate captain for a team in the NWHL and she was in a happy relationship with one of the most amazing guys ever. Things were really looking up for her.

 

\-------------------

 

Alicia was going to a little party at Julius' place with a bunch of other Finnish and Swedish hockey players. Alicia had thought about skipping it but when Esa and Julius had started talking about how they were going to drink the two rookie Finns under the table, she knew that she was needed there. The new guys Miro Heiskanen and Roope Hintz had jokingly started calling her mom at the beginning of the season. Alicia had simply accepted it and now saw them as her responsibility. No one needed to know that Miro’s real mom, in fact, had called her and Esa and told them to keep an eye on him.

 

The Stars were going to play the Avalanche in two days and since they were already in Dallas, Julius had invited the Finn and the Swedes to join them. One of the Swedes was Gabe. Tyler had come with Alicia to the party to say hi to a few people but also because she'd needed a ride. He was about to leave when he saw Gabe talking to Alicia and couldn't help but to feel a sting of jealousy. He trusted his girlfriend, he really did. He just didn't trust Gabe. Mikko had seen the way Tyler reacted and pulled him to the side.

\- Hey man, nothing has been going on between those two for a long time. Sure, they flirted for a while but there's nothing real there.

\- I know...and I really trust Ali. But knowing their history and seeing their chemistry...I just can't help it. And I mean...just look at him, even I have to admit that he looks like a god.

Tyler was quiet for a second before he continued.

\- I’d like to know when they stopped being a thing…

\- Well I can guarantee you that nothing has happened at least since Ali's and my 21st birthday party. And honestly, I don’t think anything has happened since Sochi.

\- How can you be so sure?

\- Because I’ve had a crush on Gabe since forever, and he told me he liked me the night of the party. We’ve been dating ever since. So yeah, I’m pretty sure that they are not cheating on us with each other. From what I can tell they are both in happy relationships that are too good to ruin.

Tyler looked at Mikko and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

\- Thanks’ man...and I'm really happy for you guys.

\- Yeah…just don’t go around telling people. I mean, the team knows and a few others but…

\- Your secret is safe with me.

 

\-------------------

 

The season continued, and Alicia was on fire. There was truly nothing stopping her and her teams. She became more and more a celebrity in Dallas and appeared in the newspapers several times as well as on TV.

 

As the World Championships drew closer Alicia once again found herself splitting her time between three different teams. She kept apologizing to Tyler for being absent, but he told her that she shouldn't worry and that he understood what she was going through. She was so happy that she was dating a hockey player because she was sure that a relationship with anyone else would have ended at this point. A week before Alicia went to Finland, where this year’s championships would be held, Tyler asked her to move in with him. She was so happy that he asked, and they decided that as soon as she came back from Finland they would start arranging the move. Someone might have said it was too soon, but they didn’t care. They were happy.

Alicia had met Tyler’s family several times and he had met hers through skype. Alicia’s mom had obviously seen Tyler’s tattoos, but she didn’t comment on them. The only thing she cared about was that he was treating her well. Tyler’s sisters had been over the moon when he’d told them he was dating Alicia. They had secretly been rooting for them and they were so happy that it had happened in real life.


	13. The One With The 2019 World Championships In Espoo, Finland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They asked her how she felt, knowing that Naisleijonat hadn’t won a championship since her first year as captain. Sure, they’d won Olympic gold the previous year, but apparently that didn’t count. It hit Alicia that it really felt like forever since their last (and first) gold at worlds. It was absolutely time to change that. This was home.

The One With The World Championships In Espoo 2019, Finland

 

Alicia landed at Helsinki-Vantaa with Noora, Michelle and three other players. The media was immediately asking her questions about tactics and so on. They asked her how she felt, knowing that Naisleijonat hadn’t won a championship since her first year as captain. Sure, they’d won Olympic gold the previous year, but apparently that didn’t count. It hit Alicia that it really felt like forever since their last (and first) gold at worlds. It was absolutely time to change that. This was home.

 

The tournament was being played in Metro Areena in Espoo. Home of the Espoo Blues. Which meant that three players had returned to their old turf. Alicia, Noora and Michelle all got standing ovations when the crowd welcomed them home.

 

They played like their lives depended on it. Winning every single game by at least 3 goals. The media loved them and kept praising everything they did.

“The lionesses are finally home to show you all who is boss”.

That was the favorite headline and it was used more than once. Alicia and Noora were the center of most of the attention and that was quite understandable considering Noora had several shutouts and the two games that weren't she'd only let in one goal. Alicia had everybody's attention because of her amazing point-streak. She had at least two points per game, scored in each of them and had two hat tricks. The line with Alicia, Michelle and Susanna Tapani was unstoppable. Michelle and Alicia had played together for years so they always knew where the other one was. They had been called the “wonder-twins” for several years.

 

There was no surprise that they ended up in the gold medal game. They had an entire country cheering for them as well as a bunch of fans that had chosen their side after their own country had been eliminated. Russia and USA were fighting for the bronze, so Alicia attended the game to support her friends on both sides. She had five teammates from both the Blue Stars and from college that were playing for USA and four on team Russia that she knew from St. Petersburg. After the States had won 2-1 after a shootout, Alicia and the rest of Naisleijonat went to prepare for their game against Canada.

 

Metro Areena was packed with people. So much blue and white and just a couple of Canadian flags. The game was intense. No goals in the first two periods and hardly any penalties, just one each. The goalies were working full-time and it was amazing how no one had collapsed from the pressure yet. Halfway into the third period the Naisleijonat had had the puck in the Canadian zone for a long time. The Canadians were tired and just wanted to change. That's when Alicia suddenly received a pass where she was standing at the blue line and just gave it all she had. GOAL!!! The Canadians were pissed and that resulted in a penalty. The puck landed on Alicia's stick and she skated around the goal with it and neatly tucked it in the net by the goaltender’s skate. With three minutes left Canada pulled their goaltender. After a tense minute with several shots on goal Noora and Alicia managed to pull the same trick they'd done in Korea last year. Alicia jumped off the bench and Noora passed the puck to her from behind the net. Alicia + empty net = hat trick!! The crowd had been going crazy all night and suddenly seemed to become even more alive. The commentators were screaming at each other and Finland was going to take their second ever gold medal in the world championships. The seconds were ticking and before the time was even up helmets were flying and players were spilling onto the ice. Alicia and Noora collided in a massive hug and were soon smothered by their teammates. Finland were world champions!!!

 

Both teams lined up for the awards, medals and the national anthem. There was no surprise when Alicia and Noora once again had been voted “Player of the tournament” and “Goaltender of the tournament” respectively. During the national anthem the “pohjoinen”-part is always the loudest and it was no exception this time when the crowd was about 95% Finns. Alicia was pretty sure the ice had cracked when everyone screamed more than sang “pohjoinen”.

 

Alicia was smiling to much her cheeks were hurting but she didn't care. She was crying on national TV, but she didn't care, because so was everybody else, even the coaches.

 

When Alicia got to the hotel before going out to celebrate, she checked her phone that was basically blowing up. She opened a snap from Jamie who had written “YAAAS GUURL!!!” and a lot of Finnish flags and then a lot of crying emojis and Canadian flags. Dramatic Canadian. Tyler's was a little sweeter; “I love you so much and I'm so proud of you!! Celebrate like you mean it but save some for when you are back home with me! <3”.

 

She celebrated like she meant it. They occupied a small bar in Helsinki, but the owner didn't mind. He knew they were going to buy more drinks than he'd normally sell in 2-3 nights, so he even handed out a couple of free drinks to everybody. The one seventeen-year-old on the team were under strict orders to only have one glass of champagne, but as the night went on nobody remembered she was underage. The head coach even bought her a shot at one point. Suddenly head coach Mustonen was standing on a table, almost looking sober, and thanking them for being such an awesome team and that he couldn't possibly be prouder of them. Then he started crying again.

 

The next day most of them were nursing a hangover and preparing for the celebration that was going to be held on the market square later that day. Alicia spent her morning skyping with Tyler, Jamie and a few more from the Stars. Later her parents came to visit along with her sister, her sister's husband and Alicia's best friend Emma. Her brother didn't come but he was going to attend the celebrations later that day, so she’d probably see him then plus he'd been to most of the games.

 

 

Later that night the Naisleijonat were standing on a stage showing off the medals and the cup. The people were going wild and Alicia was sure that half the population of southern Finland was there. Her stage fright was nowhere to be seen since they'd had quite the amount of champagne before getting there.

 

Alicia returned to the States a couple of days later and celebrated her win with Tyler...like really celebrated. During the following days she started moving her stuff to Tyler's and changed her address officially. She didn't have to do anything about her old apartment since Noora and Michelle would still be living there. She was so happy that they were finally living together, and that Tyler's dogs Marshall, Cash and Gerry had accepted her as their step-mom.

 

A bunch of things had happened during the spring. The hockey season for her college team had ended before the worlds. They’d won for the second year in a row. Blue Stars made the playoffs but fell out in the conference finals. Something surprising also happened. She found out that she almost had enough credits to graduate early. Like really early. Because of that it wouldn’t make any sense for her to attend college full time or play for the school next season. After a few meetings with her coaches and a few faculty members it was determined that Alicia would drop her last few remaining classes of this semester, so that she could take them next fall instead. This way her scholarship wouldn’t be revoked until Christmas, which was her new graduation date. This meant that she could still play hockey during the fall.

 

Because of the opening in her schedule she could spend more time with Tyler. When the boys were home they dragged her with them to anything and everything. Alicia also started getting to know the wives and girlfriends of most of the players. She got along with all of them, but mostly being just formal with the ones that were a bit older. The one she didn't get along with at all was Jamie's girlfriend Holly. She was really cold towards Alicia and Alicia had a feeling that she was just with Jamie for his money. She didn't say anything however because Jamie seemed happy and just because Alicia had a strange feeling about her didn't mean that she actually was right about it. She decided to just quietly keep an eye on Holly.

 

\-------------------

 

After Dallas had won the cup, Jamie and Holly eloped. Tyler and Alicia were there as witnesses. Alicia tried to be happy for Jamie, but she was still very suspicious towards Holly and she kind of hoped that the marriage wouldn’t last very long. It was a horrible thing to think and she knew that it would end in heartbreak for Jamie, but the sooner the better. A few days after the wedding Tyler and Alicia went to Finland so that Tyler could meet Alicia’s parents for the first time in real life and not over skype. They spent a couple of days in Helsinki before they made their way to Alicia's hometown. They decided to take the train and during the ride a little girl approached them and she shyly asked Alicia to sign her jersey that she'd bought just that day. Alicia was happy to and even suggested they'd take a picture. The smile on the little girl's face was worth millions. The mother told Alicia that she was the little girl’s hero and that she wants to be like her when she grows up.

 

Tyler was very welcomed to the family and he liked the coziness of the small town. He met Alicia's high school friends and also joined her brother and his gang for a few beers when Alicia was having a girl’s night. After about three weeks a bunch of the Stars joined them (including the boys that were living in Finland). They'd all been to the Åland islands and Helsinki and now they wanted to see where Alicia had grown up. They stayed for a little less than a week. On one of the days the group of now 12 went to Hanko to walk the Tulliniemi nature path to get to the southernmost point of Finland. The hike took a little under three hours and Alicia got to use her history knowledge as she guided them through the trail and they stumbled upon a small shipwreck and the barracks of what had been a women’s prison (among other things) a long time ago. A couple of days later they all left, even Tyler, to go home to their respective cities and countries.

 

Towards the end of the summer Alicia spent an extended weekend in Tampere where a few NHL players had arranged a gathering for all Nordic hockey players in NHL and NWHL. Most of the players showed up so there was about 160 people there. There weren’t many female players, but they were all happy to have been included. The weekend consisted of food and a mini tournament with little games etc. Alicia ended up on the same team as Gabriel and the pair dominated the quiz that was a part of the tournament (they didn't even need the rest of the team). After the weekend, that had been named “Nordic idiots trying to not talk about hockey”, Alicia left Finland to spend two weeks in Canada with Tyler's family.

 

When she came back to the states she started training with her hockey teams again. Even though she still had a few months left with her college team it was an emotionally tough first practice because she knew this was the beginning of the end.

 

\-------------------

 

Tyler had been on the verge of saying something for a while but always seemed to change his mind about it. Alicia started to get worried, what if he wanted to break up. She started imagining all kinds of horrifying scenarios until one day she just gave up.

\- Just spit it out already!

\- What?

\- I know you have something on your mind. You always look like you are about to say something and then you just walk away! So spill!

\- It's just that I..I don't really know when it's a good time to bring this up...like when is it still too soon.

\- Too soon for what?

\- ..oh fuck it. I’m just gonna do it...Do you see yourself having kids in the future?”

Alicia had not expected that, so she was stunned for a few seconds before she answered.

\- Yeah, absolutely.

\- Does said future kids share my DNA...? Tyler asked shyly.

Alicia smiled.

\- ...definitely.

They just looked at each other and smiled like two idiots for a moment until Alicia continued.

\- But like...not yet...

\- Oh yeah don't worry about that. We are young and healthy, and I want it to be just us and the dogs for now. I just wanted to know your thoughts for the future. We are going to wait.

\- Good…because I want to be able to focus on my hockey for now. My career is already going to be shorter than yours and I don’t want to make it even shorter. I also don’t want people to talk shit about me and say I put my career before family if I were to play while having a baby at home…And speaking of not knowing the right time to mention something ...twins run in my family.

 

\-------------------

 

In late September Tyler was having his boys over for a preseason party and Alicia was going to pick up her high school squad from the airport, among them was her best friend Emma. The girls had decided they needed to see her before she turned into a hockey monster. Before Alicia left she went to say hello to the boys.

\- If anyone pukes, you'll clean up!! I'm looking at you John.

Alicia crossed her arms and stared down John, remembering what had happened in the beginning of the summer when they had been celebrating winning the cup.

\- Hey that only happened one time and I WAS aiming for the toilet.

Klingberg tried to defend himself.

Alicia smiled to let him know it was fine and then turned around to leave. She had noticed that Jamie was a bit quiet but didn't think more about it until Tyler stopped her at the door.

 

\- Chubbs will probably stay the night. I'm setting him up on the couch and he already said that you girls don't have to be quiet because of him when you get home.

Tyler had a worried look on his face when he said it.

\- Is he okay? Trouble at home?

Tyler nodded.

\- You don't have to worry about it. Go have fun with your friends. He'll probably talk to you when he's ready.

 

Alicia had a great night out with her friends and they were very impressed when they didn't have to pay for the first round of drinks at the bar. Alicia had to tell them that the Blue Stars and Dallas Stars players always get their first drink for free at this bar, and the bartender was the boyfriend of one of Alicia's teammates, so that's why he'd given Ali's friends free drinks as well.

_\- Wait there’s a drink named after you?_

Emma had been looking at the drink list and saw that one was called “Captain Alicia”. Since it was a blue drink it was very obvious that it was this Alicia it was named after. It was a running gag in their friend group that Alicia is crazy for all things blue. Alicia told them the story about the drink.

_\- Okay so, it happened about two years ago. We’d been at this bar several times celebrating wins. I usually ordered a mojito because they are amazing here. After a while the owner asked me if he could put my name on a drink. One of my teammates then said to make something blue so that it would really be my drink, and voilà. A blue raspberry mojito named “Captain Alicia” made its appearance on the menu._

 

When they got back to Tyler and Ali's place they were bubbly but had as much sense in them to be quiet in case the boys were sleeping. When Ali walked by the living room she could see that Jamie was still awake. She showed the girls where they were going to sleep and then went to change into sweats and one of Tyler’s Stars hoodies. She then went back downstairs to talk to Jamie. He seemed relieved when she walked up to him and asked if he wanted to talk. He just nodded, and Ali dragged him to the kitchen and made them both hot chocolate.

 

\- You never liked her right?

Jamie sighed.

\- We didn't exactly click.

Ali answered, assuming he was talking about his wife Holly.

\- You get along with everybody, what made you so cautious towards her?

\- I just didn't think she was good enough for you and she seemed to think she was better than me just because she'd scored a captain and I “only” an alternate.”

Ali hesitated for a moment before she continued.

\- She actually did tell me to stay the hell away from you once. I guess she thought you and I were too close. I really wanted to talk to you about it, but you seemed so in love and I didn't want to ruin it for you. I just blamed myself for not thinking anyone's ever going to be good enough for one of my absolute best friends. I had the same trouble with Noora and her current boyfriend.

\- You are pretty awesome...I hope you know that. I've been very protective of Tyler ever since he was traded to Dallas and there was a bunch of his previous flings that I didn't approve of, but as soon as you came into his life I knew he'd finally found the most amazing girl in the entire universe. I was just so happy for him that I didn't notice that my own relationship was kind of toxic.

\- Maybe she was more careful with showing her true colors when it was just the two of you?

\- Why the fuck did I propose to her?!

Jamie was hiding his face in his hands.

\- Please don't ever blame yourself Jamie. She is a manipulator and they can make people do anything.

 

They talked for almost two hours and by the end Jamie seemed to feel a little better. He thanked her for being an awesome friend. When Ali slipped into bed Tyler woke up and wrapped his arms around her and said thank you before falling asleep again. Ali was too tired to even register what he'd said.

 

The following few days they had a full house. Ali showed her friends around Dallas and Tyler distracted Jamie with anything he could come up with and both Ali and Ty refused to let Jamie go back home alone. After Ali's friends left she and Tyler had a big talk about Jamie. He'd talked to a lawyer about the divorce and it seemed like Holly was going to get everything except his money, but she was really fighting to get that too. Ali and Ty decided to have Jamie live with them for a while and also help him hide some family stuff so that Holly couldn't get her hands on it. Jamie refused first and said that he was going to stay at a hotel but after them begging him and later threatening him he finally agreed to move into one of their guestrooms.

 

The time seemed to just fly by. Jamie had lived with Tyler and Alicia for about a month while he was dealing with his divorce. Holly was fighting dirty, trying to get everything and Jamie was tempted to just give in. Somehow the divorce was finally finalized. Jamie got to keep his money and he wouldn’t have to pay Holly for anything ever again. He had sighed and decided to let her have the house. It was worth a crapload of money, but Jamie didn’t care. He wanted to start over anyway and that house would be too big for just him. Filled with too many memories. When he’d agreed to let her have the house she’d finally stopped whining, and everyone took that as a huge win.

 

A week before Christmas Alicia skated onto the ice with her college team for the last time. She scored two goals and they won the game. Just like when Alicia played her last game with Espoo Blues, there was a video of her highlights playing on the jumbotron. She once again found herself fighting the tears and once again she lost. She was given a standing ovation from the crowd and the opposing team paid their respects. The coach gave a speech and when he was done he gave her a hug. When everybody had skated off the ice she was called back on, as the star of the game always is. She skated around for a bit to the applause and to her surprise hardly anyone had left the arena. Suddenly they were chanting; “Oh captain, our captain. You do you. Keep the wins coming, even for the Blue”. Alicia gave her stick to a little girl by the glass and skated off the ice for the last time.

 

Two days later she received her college diploma. Her family had made the long trip oversees to watch her graduate. Tyler’s family was also there and so was of course Tyler. It’s safe to say that he cheered the loudest when Alicia’s name was called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know that Finland played against USA in the gold game, and not Canada (and we lost) but like everything in this story; It’s pure fiction and I do whatever I want.
> 
> Usually you can’t really hear the lyrics when the national anthem is sung, but you can always hear one word and that’s “pohjoinen”. Here’s a link to the Finnish national anthem (with English subtitles). Since it’s a choir that is singing and not happy hockey fans, the “pohjoinen” part is not as loud as it should be.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX7cPorwX5M
> 
> About who Jamie’s girlfriend is. I decided to not drag Katie into this, since I don’t know what their situation is (also it’s none of my business) so he’s just dating someone named Holly.
> 
> Please ignore the bad chant at the end. I was tired when I wrote this…
> 
> Some info about the Nature path that I mention.  
> https://tourism.hanko.fi/en/tulliniemi-nature-path/
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This is set between April and December 2019.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...


	14. The One With The 2020 World Championships In Halifax and Truro, Canada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other two had left for New York two days earlier than Alicia and Noora because the Blue Stars wanted them for one more game. The pair was sitting at the airport waiting for their flight to New York when Noora sighed and said she had something important that she wanted to share. Noora had been very quiet lately and when she finally told Alicia that she wanted to talk, Ali stopped fiddling with her phone and turned to give her friend all her attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS AND WARNINGS!! I mention suicide in this chapter. It’s not described in any way but if this is a trigger for you, you can stop reading at “The championships were suddenly upon them…”. There’s also mention of abuse in the beginning of the chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> The guy Noora was dating is an original character.
> 
> I needed a name for a coach and the first name that popped into my head was Tommi Niemelä. He’s been a coach for the U20 and U18 (males) a few times so I think that’s the reason. Anyway in my story he has been the goalie coach for the Naisleijonat for several years...
> 
> Sportbladet is a Swedish newspaper and literally translated it means “The sports paper”.
> 
> So, this is were I stopped writing this story last time. After this I have to write completely new chapters. We’ll see how that turns out. 
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set between January and April 2020.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...
> 
> CONGRATULATIONS FINLAND ON WINNING THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! So proud to be a Finn right now. Yes I screamed and cried all night! Ihanaa Leijonat!! <3  
> Before the tournament started no one believed in this team. I was skeptical, but just like every year I still had some kind of hope. Thank you Leijonat for keeping that hope alive and for exceeding all expectations. 
> 
> Kiitos Leijonat. Suomi on maailmanmestari!!

The One With The 2020 World Championships In Halifax and Truro, Canada

 

Six days into the new year Alicia made her debut as captain for the Blue Stars. She managed to get five points by scoring two goals and giving three assists. Not a bad start at all. After the game she had to give a lot of interviews, but she didn't mind too much. She’d been forced to do interviews for so many years now, so she was used to it. This day was a bit special though, she was finally a true professional hockey player.

 

A practice tournament, to prepare for this year’s worlds, was being held in New York. Alicia, Noora, Michelle and one other teammate from the Blue Stars had all been given the OK to play for Finland. The girls had missed almost all practice tournaments for the last few years because of where they were normally playing during the season, but this time it was different.

The other two had left for New York two days earlier than Alicia and Noora because the Blue Stars wanted them for one more game. The pair was sitting at the airport waiting for their flight to New York when Noora sighed and said she had something important that she wanted to share. Noora had been very quiet lately and when she finally told Alicia that she wanted to talk, Ali stopped fiddling with her phone and turned to give her friend all her attention.

_\- …Sooo…I left Olli_

Noora sighed and her eyes were starting to tear up.

_\- Did something happen, or have you guys just been drifting apart?_

Alicia had a feeling it was the former, but she didn’t know what she should say about it. All she knew was that it was surely something very serious.

_\- He’d been kind of angry for a while and I just thought he was going through a tough time. He did lose his job a while back, so I just figured it was about that. Apparently there was a lot more than that._

Noora had to pause for a moment before she was able to continue.

_\- He’d been dating another woman on the side, or maybe I was the side chick…I don’t even know. Anyway, she’d apparently started seeing another guy after Olli had lost his job. He found out and dumped her. Then he came home to me and said all women are whores and he fucking punched me in the face._

Noora was clearly more angry than sad now.

_\- I left right away and I reported him for domestic abuse. Someone told me that he went back to Finland. I haven’t heard from him since, so there’s no need for you to go kill him. It’s over, it’s done. I’ve moved on with my life._

_\- The way you are telling this…How long ago did this happen?_

_\- ...Early November._

_\- Noora we tell each other everything! At least most things. You could have talked to me about this. Please tell me you’ve talked to someone or have you kept it all to yourself?_

_\- I’ve talked to the team therapist and my backup. Goalie connection you know._

Noora tried joking.

_\- We do tell each other everything…but this…I just…I just didn’t want to bring up bad memories for you. You didn’t need to be reminded about that when you already had stuff going on with graduation and your time with your team coming to an end._

Alicia couldn't help but to flinch as her memories of her ex came back. Noora gave her an I-told-you-so-look but didn't say anything.

_\- The reason why I’m bringing this up now is because like I said, we tell each other everything. Also, I’m ready to maybe start dating again and you know a lot of hot dudes. Sooo…you know anyone who’s single, my age and willing to date a female hockey player?_

Alicia gave a little laugh because of how the conversation had changed.

_\- So you really are okay?_

_\- Yeah kid. I’ve talked about it and I’ve cried about it. It’s all out now. You didn’t answer my question though. Dudes?_

Alicia was about to start laughing even more until she suddenly remembered that she actually knew the perfect single guy...and said guy had previously asked her the same question that Noora just did. Did she know any single girls willing to date a hockey player?

\------------------- 

After the mini tournament, with three games, the girls came back to Dallas. Alicia had a talk with Tyler and they agreed that they should try to set up Jamie and Noora. It would be kind of awesome to have their respective best friends dating and they were pretty sure they’d be perfect for each other. This would be and interesting twist since it was Jamie who had intended to set up Tyler and Alicia two years prior, but never managed to do so since the couple had gotten together on their own.

 

When Jamie came to their house later that day to ask for their opinion for how he should decorate one of his guestrooms in his new house, Alicia saw her chance.

\- ..do you remember my friend Noora Räty? You've met a few times, but I don't think you've ever really talked?

\- The Blue Stars goaltender? Yeah I remember her. Why?

 Jamie was looking at Ali suspiciously.

\- Well, she kind of asked me if I knew anyone who was single and I thought you two might be a good fit. Anyway...this is her number. Do whatever you want with it. If something happens cool, but I don’t want to know anything about it. She’s basically my sister so that would be disgusting. But if either of you hurt the other I will aim to kill.

Jamie, knowing that she was serious took the piece of paper that she handed him.

\- Why didn't you mention her sooner?

\- I didn't find out she was single until very recently...don't worry she's not looking for just a rebound. She is over the other guy, but that’s not my story to tell.

 

A few weeks went by and Alicia was pretty sure Jamie and Noora were a perfect match. She had Tyler casually ask Jamie how things were going when they were over at Jamie’s house, helping him tear down the wallpaper in one of the rooms. Even though it was Tyler that had asked, Jamie answered directly to Alicia with a big grin on his face.

\- Yeah, things are going great. Want details?

\- NO!

\-------------------

The championships were suddenly upon them, so the girls left for Canada, where this year’s championships were being held. Alicia had believed that she wouldn't get any extra attention this year but oh how she was wrong. She would end up with all the attention...for one bad and one good reason. The good reason was that this would be Alicia's ninth time putting on the Finnish jersey (11 if you count U18) and that since she'd joined the team they'd always received a medal. This meant that if Finland won a medal this year they would have a nine-year medal streak (counting the Olympics) and a seven-year medal streak (only counting worlds). The seven-year streak would finally break the 6-year streak from 1990-2000 (female hockey was not played every year during the -90's). Alicia hadn't even realized that and when she was asked about how it felt wearing the jersey for the ninth time she had turned her head towards one of the assistant coaches and asked him how it could be nine already. Coach Tommi Niemelä had just laughed and said that time flies when you are having fun. Tommi had joined the coaching staff the same year as Alicia and even though they had a 13-year age-gap they'd grown really close over the years. So close that Alicia was a godmother of his youngest daughter.

 

The girls played once again a great tournament, not that anyone had expected anything less from the team as it was the exact same roster from the previous year with the exception of the back-up goalie. The girls had already secured a place in the quarterfinals and had only one game left that would determine their opponent. That's when the bad thing happened.

 

It was early in the morning and Alicia was headed to the last practice before the game against Denmark. Suddenly her phone started ringing and when she looked at the screen she recognized it as a Finnish number and decided to ignore it. She thought it was probably a drunk dial since it was a late Friday night in Finland. When the number called for the third time she answered. She really wished she hadn't.

_\- I hadn’t heard from her in a few days and I thought I should call her and when I called she didn't answer so I called the next day and then her phone was off and then she didn't open the door when I knocked so I had to get someone with a key and then she was just lying there and she didn't move and I didn't know what to do and when the ambulance came they didn't even take her like what kind of first responders do we have I mean isn't there a law that says they have to help people and then they called someone else who came and I thought he was going to help her but he just put a white sheet over her and then they just took her away…_

 

The young woman on the other end didn't stop talking. Alicia wasn't sure when the girl had time to breathe. Alicia couldn't place the voice because she was talking too fast, but she knew that she should recognize it. Maybe it was her own mind trying to deny the facts. Her own voice was just a whisper when the girl stopped talking to let her respond.

_\- ...what..what happened? Who did they take away? Who is this?_

_\- My sister! Emma’s dead!!_

_-…No…_

Alicia had made it to the rink by now. She was standing in the lobby when she felt everything go dark. _Why had they turned off the lights? It was game day; the building was supposed to be filled with people._ She was crouching on the floor with her face hidden in her hands when Noora came up to her. They'd called from the front desk when Alicia had been in that position for several minutes. It took Noora a while to get any kind of reaction from Alicia. She hadn't said anything but Noora knew this was serious, she could absolutely not figure out what could've gotten her captain into this state. When it came to hockey Alicia was the master of ignoring the outside world and the people that chose to criticize everything. She got Alicia to stand up and as they were walking towards the dressing room they met Tommi, who was just on his way to see where Noora had gone. He took one look at Alicia and just gestured to Noora to bring her to the room that served as the coaches’ office. Together they finally made some more contact with Alicia.

_\- I’m gonna need a mourning band....and a silver marker._

Tommi and Noora looked at each other. They knew exactly what the mourning band meant but neither of them wanted to ask her the reason for why she needed it. Tommi started to explain to Alicia that there was no need for her to play in tonight's game, but he was interrupted. Alicia spoke quietly.

_\- Emma died...I don't know what happened...her sister didn't say._

She was now looking directly at Tommi.

_\- I really need to play today…For her. If you guys think I'm struggling on the ice I promise I'll step away. I can cry after the game and be ready again for the finals...just please let me play today._

 

Tommi wanted to say no but he trusted Alicia’s instincts. After a quick talk with head coach Pasi Mustonen they sent Alicia and Noora back to the hotel. No need for them to practice. They had a signed promise from Alicia that Pasi could pull her from the game if he felt like she wasn’t helping her team.

A few hours before the game Pasi was giving the standard press conference that the coaches always do.

\- Our captain will wear a mourning band for the rest of this tournament for a dear friend that passed away earlier. When Andersson leaves the ice she will be escorted directly to the dressing room and we'd appreciate if the press showed her respect and didn't ask her any questions. She will not be giving any interviews tonight.

 

In the locker room, Alicia didn’t give a pep talk like she usually does. Instead she sat quietly by her locker and no one said a word. When it was time to hit the ice, Alicia stood up.

_\- Let’s do this!_

The team followed their captain.

 

Alicia stepped onto the ice like she does every game. The thing that was different was the silver letters that she had written on the side of the stick.

_“Rest in peace my dear friend <3”_

It was in Swedish so not everyone knew what it said, but they could make a guess. You couldn’t really see it if you were too far away, but the cameras had found it and zoomed in on it several times, especially when she was taking a face-off. The black mourning band was heavy on her arm and she avoided looking at it. She still hadn't cried but she hadn't felt the need to either. Before the game she had tweeted out:

“No matter the result, this game is for you my dearest friend <3”

She truly played this game for Emma. She had a few chances to score but she didn't until the end of the first period. They were on a power play and there was only a few seconds left. Alicia received a pass to where she was standing by the right face-off circle and gave the shot all she had. Luckily no one had been in the way because that shot could have caused serious damage. The Danish goaltender didn't have a chance. Her next three goals were just as hard. They won 6-1 and Alicia had scored a four-goal hattrick for her best friend. She skated with her teammates to do the obligatory victory headbutt with Noora. Halfway there her ears suddenly started ringing. She ignored it but it was so loud that she didn't even hear when Noora asked if she was okay. She lined up with everybody for the national anthem, but a few notes in she broke down. Noora must have been keeping an eye on her because she immediately dragged her towards the bench where Tommi just protectively put an arm around her and escorted her through the tunnel.

 

“ _The Finnish captain leaves the ice during the national anthem”_ \- Sportbladet

 

Alicia cried the rest of the night but after that she put her game face back on. With Alicia putting all her feelings into shooting the puck, Finland dominated their way through the finals and found themselves defending their title in the gold medal game, this time the opponent was to everyone’s surprise Switzerland. They didn’t stand a chance however. Naisleijonat crushed them 7-0.

 

After the tournament the NWHL players didn’t join the rest of the team back to Finland. Alicia however did. They had celebrated in Canada, but she didn’t feel like doing it again in Helsinki, so she went straight home. There she stayed until she had buried her best friend. Emma had killed herself, and her younger sister Julia showed Alicia the letter she’d found. It was very simple:

“ _I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand this anymore_ ”

Those words burned into Alicia's eyes and every time she closed them she could see those damned words.

Emma’s parents didn’t attend the funeral. Her father hadn’t spoken to her for several years and her mother said she didn’t care.

_\- Emma wouldn’t want me there anyway. You kids never respected us._

Her words kept repeating in Alicia’s head when she was at the funeral, keeping a steady grip on Julia’s shoulder. “ _What the hell was there to respect_?”

\-------------------

Alicia went back to the States and attached herself to Tyler and silently let her tears fall. Tyler just held her tight and didn't force her to talk.

When Alicia came back to have her first practice with the Blue Stars since before worlds, she stepped onto the bench in front of her locker and held a short speech.

\- You guys are my people. I care about you all equally, even if I don’t talk to you or hang out with you outside the rink as much as I do with some others. You need to know. You are ALL equally important to me. If you ever have a bad day or just something that is bothering you, no matter how big or small the issue is, know that you can always come talk to me. I'm only a text or a call away. If you don’t want to talk to me, please find someone to talk to. You shouldn’t keep it to yourself. Please always talk to someone.

The last part had come out as barely a whisper.

The players all stood up and Alicia found herself surrounded by all 22 players in a massive group hug.

The coaches that had heard her speech gave each other a look that just said: “This is why we made her captain”.

After a couple of weeks, a package arrived at Tyler and Alicia's house. The note showed that the sender was Emma. Tyler just wanted to throw it away, but instead he called Noora and asked her for advice.

\- Just give it to her as soon as she gets home. I don’t think that there will ever be a good timing for it so it’s best to just get it over with as soon as possible.

Alicia came home, and Tyler silently pointed towards the package. She saw Emma’s name and she immediately pressed her fingers to the “Lumos”-tattoo that she had on her left arm. Emma and Alicia had gotten matching ones when they were sixteen and both in a bad place. The tattoo would now forever be a reminder of Emma.

 

Alicia opened the box and inside it she found a bunch of letters, all addressed to her from Emma. There was also a small velvet box, a framed picture and a book. Alicia first took out the picture. It was of her and Emma and it had been taken two summers ago back home in Finland. They looked so happy and in the background the ocean was extremely blue. It was truly a masterpiece. Emma had written on the back of it: “ _Please only remember the good days_.”. The book was a first edition copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. They'd both been obsessed with Narnia when they were kids and had bonded over it when they’d first met in seventh grade. The book had a post-it on it that read: “ _I know that he’s going to propose to you one day, he’s not dumb. So consider this an early wedding gift for you_.”. Alicia had tears streaming down her face, but she refused to stop, she needed to get through this today. In the velvet box she found the silver necklace that Emma had worn for years, the one that Julia had wanted to put in Emma’s casket. Alicia then moved over to the letters. Most of them weren't done and a few only had a couple of lines, but they all indicated that Emma had been going through the worst time and that she had wanted to talk about it but didn't really know what to say. The last letter was the longest one, and very clearly Emma's farewell to her best friend.

“ _Alicia,_

_If you are reading this, it probably means one thing. That I’m gone. It all just became too much. So many times I’ve started writing you a letter and just as many times I’ve failed. I just haven’t been able to find the words. I want you to know that you’re the best friend in the whole world. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to have in my life. You also need to know that there’s nothing you could have done to ease my situation. I know that you right now are blaming yourself for not having been on my side of the globe, but I promise you. The best thing you did for me was to leave this hellhole and live your dream. I know how happy you became as soon as you left. If you would have stayed here for me, like you once said you were, I would’ve never forgiven you. But now I know you are doing great. You have wonderful people around you. I know Michelle and Noora are taking care of you and I know that Tyler would bring the stars down to you if you only asked. It’s been amazing to watch you go from the quiet little mouse you were to this open, proud and happy young woman. You are truly doing amazing sweetie! So thank you so much. Thank you for finally being healthy and happy. Don’t think about what my life have been like lately. Just remember the good days we had. I’m going to continue keeping an eye on you. To see you get married, become a mother and live happily ever after. I’m better off wherever I am right now. Please believe me. I look forward to the day we meet again, but let it take many, many years. I’ll meet you with open arms and I know what a legend you’ll become._

_Thank you again my dearest friend. I love you._

_…and I’m so sorry._

Alicia sat on the floor, wailing. Tyler came running into the room and sat down, scooped her up. She immediately threw her arms around his neck and hid her face. Tyler silently held her. By now he had learned that she only needed to cry it out without talking about it. The dogs came to investigate and they all seemed to sense that mama wasn’t doing well. Gerry put his head in Alicia’s lap. Marshall laid down by her feet and Cash managed to fit in somewhere so that he too was touching Alicia.

The little family stayed like that for a long time.


	15. The One With A Bunch of Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, she blamed herself for not noticing, but as the time went on she realized that she’d done the exact same thing as Emma. She’d hid how bad she was doing for the people around her, just to spare them from worrying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS AND WARNINGS: Alicia talks about her abuse. Emma’s suicide is mentioned a couple of times. If this is a trigger for you, you can start reading from the paragraph that starts with “Alicia stood up and went to look through the window.”
> 
>  
> 
> #MeToo was created in 2017 but to work in my story it happens in 2020.
> 
> About the title. I seriously couldn’t come up with a good one. I finished this chapter on May 14th and I still haven’t found a better one. My creativity is running on fumes…
> 
> This is the second chapter that I wrote from scratch. All the other’s (except for chapter 4) are edited and re-written from an old version of this story. I had absolutely no idea what this chapter was going to cover, but I just started writing and this is what came out. I’ve had ideas for the last two chapters for a long time but haven’t been able to write them because I needed something to happen before that. Well this is the result. 
> 
> I can’t write smut, I don’t know why I tried. Sorry. Can it even be called smut?
> 
> I don’t know why, but I kept writing Emma instead of Alicia several times. I think I found all the errors but if not, please let me know.
> 
> I didn’t write about the 2021 Worlds, but it happened. Alicia was there and Naisleijonat won a medal.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapter is set in the fall of 2020 to early fall of 2021 (the first two paragraphs are something that covers the time after the 2020 world championships).
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With A Bunch of Things

 

Alicia mourned her best friend. Who wouldn’t? She was extra quiet for the next few days after she’d opened Emma’s package. Emma had struggled with her family situation her whole life and because of that, her already fragile mental health only became worse. They had talked about it a few times, but Alicia could never have imagined how bad it actually was. At first, she blamed herself for not noticing, but as the time went on she realized that she’d done the exact same thing as Emma. She’d hid how bad she was doing for the people around her, just to spare them from worrying.

Alicia was a very secretive person. She didn’t publish too much on social media, she was careful of what she said in interviews and even careful about what she told her friends and family. Emma had been the first to know about Lukas. After that she’d told Gabriel Landeskog, which she regretted as soon as she’d done it since they didn’t know each other. Luckily he’d kept quiet all these years and he never brought it up when they talked. Michelle, Noora and a psychologist for the Espoo Blues had also found out after a while. When Alicia got an agent, she told him as well since she thought he needed to know just in case. After that Alicia swore that no one else could know. Then she med Tyler. Sweet caring Tyler, who she knew would kill Lukas if he ever saw him. She never intended on telling him either, but it happened. And she was glad it did. She felt so much lighter after she’d gotten it off her chest. It had made Tyler a bit more protective of her, but she didn’t really mind. She knew she was safe.

\-------------------

In the fall of 2020 #metoo broke social media. People were finally sharing their traumatic stories and were now getting the help and support that they should have gotten a long time ago. Alicia’s agent called her and asked if she was ready to let the world know about her situation. He told her that he would support her no matter what her decision was. She stared at her phone for a long time after the call had ended. She didn’t even notice when Tyler came home, and he’d been gone on a very long road trip. She didn’t react until he sat down next to her on the couch.

\- Hey.

Alicia startled a little bit, then she smiled and leaned in for a welcome home kiss. Tyler lifted her legs and put them back down over his own.

\- You were in your own little bubble. Everything okay?

\- I just. I got a call from my agent and he asked me if I wanted to share my story now that #metoo has happened.

Tyler, who had started playing with Alicia’s hair, stopped.

\- Have you thought about it?

\- Yeah.

\- Have you decided?

\- I think I’ll do it.

\- Really?

\- After what happened last spring I kept telling my team to not keep to much stuff to themselves. I started thinking about myself and I realized that that’s exactly what I’ve been doing my whole life. Sure, I’ve talked about Lukas to a few people, but no one know the whole story. Not even you. There’s not a lot that I’ve left out but…Yeah I’m ready to tell the world.

Tyler smiled down at his girlfriend. He couldn’t be more proud of her.

\- I’ll be with you every step of the way.

 

A few days later Alicia gave a press conference.

\- During the last few weeks #metoo has taken over social media. People are finally sharing their stories and encouraging others to do the same. People have been afraid for so long and felt ashamed for what they’ve been through. I’m one of them.

When I was fifteen I got my first real boyfriend. He was one of those popular guys with a lot of friends. The teachers loved him, I loved him and even my parents loved him. He was a real prince charming and he wanted to date me. A nobody.

 

Alicia paused for a moment, she looked to the side of the stage where Tyler, Noora and Michelle were standing, showing their support. After and encouraging nod from Tyler she continued.

 

\- As it turns out, he wasn’t very nice. At first there was just a few words here and there. After that he started to yell more often, especially when I put more time into hockey. He started telling me I wasn’t good enough and that no one else would ever love me like he did. And I believed him. Who would love a fat girl who play hockey? Then he stopped yelling. He was nice again for a little while. Then…

 

She had to stop again. She looked at Tyler who seemed ready to jump up on stage and carry her down and shield her from all the reporters. It was only Noora’s hand on his shoulder that stopped him. Alicia continued.

 

\- Then he started hitting me. He knew that I was already covered in bruises because of hockey so it wasn’t like anyone would notice. He really enjoyed making the hockey bruises even worse so that he could say that they were all his. I wanted to leave, I really did. But what would have happened to me then? Like he kept saying, no one would ever love me like he did. I did the only thing I could think of. I stopped sleeping with him. Well that never stopped him from doing whatever he wanted anyway. I was used and abused from when I was fifteen until the year I turned seventeen. That’s when I somehow found the courage to stand up to him. It’s not like I stopped being scared after that. I thought I saw him everywhere. I was so stressed that I started losing weight. The press had a lot to say about that and I even got to hear that it was my own fault that my ribs were broken during the Olympics because I didn’t have enough “padding”. That was fun.

The only one who knew about my situation was my best friend and I didn’t tell her until Lukas and I had been together for almost a year and by then he’d been doing this for over half the time. The next person I told was someone I had just met, but obviously I felt that I could trust them, and so far they’ve kept it to themselves. The same goes for the next five people I’ve told over the years. I’ve told seven people about this. That’s seven more than I ever intended. I was never able to tell my family about this, but since it’s about to become public knowledge very soon I guess it’s time to finally make that call to my mother.

I didn’t think that I’d ever be able to trust a guy again. Lukas had made me scared. I was scared of all my male teachers. I was scared of guys I had know since kindergarten. If I was walking alone in the hallway and a group of guys walked towards me I would tense up. If a male teacher talked to me outside of class I just wanted to run away. If I was paired up with a guy in class to discuss something I just wanted to cry, even if it was with someone that I’s known for years.

What saved me was actually the 2014 Olympics. Thanks to me simply being young I was forced to do interviews with two guys. Olli Määttä and Aleksander Barkov. I’ve never told them this, even though we text quite regularly, but they saved me. They basically cured my fear of men simply by being nice. I didn’t think that having three very shy and quiet people working together would have resulted in that. But it did, and I’m forever grateful. During the Olympics I learned that not all men are the same.

I want to thank everyone who has shown their support and helped me through some very tough times. My support system has been solid.

I hope that everyone will continue working with and supporting #metoo and that everyone who need it get the help they deserve.

 

Later that night Alicia called her mother.

After a long and tearful phone call, Alicia took a deep breath. Marshall had been next to her on the couch during the entire call, being her much needed emotional support. Her mother first had a hard time understanding why Alicia hadn’t told her about this, then she blamed herself for not noticing. Alicia spent some time explaining to her why she’d kept it hidden and told her that this is how she felt about what had happened with Emma.

_\- I still can’t believe how I didn’t notice anything at all. Like I suspected nothing. At some point I did notice that you were a bit down, but I just figured you were stressed about school and hockey. At least that’s what you said when I asked back then._

_\- Maybe I should become an actress after I retire from hockey._

The weak joke had made them both laugh a little. They said their goodbyes after that.

 

Alicia stood up and went to look through the window. She smiled when she saw Tyler filming Gerry jumping into the pool, probably for his Insta story. Tyler had bought this house after he signed his current contract and when Alicia moved in he’d made sure she felt like the house was hers as much as his. The house was truly something, even though it was huge and way too big for just the two of them and the boys, it still felt like a home. Their home.

She opened the glass doors and stepped out. Tyler didn’t notice her until Cash started walking towards her. He smiled and thought about how the dogs all happily had accepted her as their mom. He stopped filming Gerry and went to give his girlfriend a sweet kiss instead. He felt like the luckiest guy on the planet.

The sweet kiss soon turned heated. Tyler’s hands wandered down to Alicia’s ass, his big hands each got a nice handful. Alicia broke the kiss, grabbed his hand and dragged him into the house. When they got to the hallway Tyler pressed her against the wall. He lifted her up so that he could have better access to her neck. She wrapped her legs around him and let her head fall back against the wall.

\- Ty…bedroom…now!

Tyler carried her to their room where he put her down on the bed and immediately draped himself over her. Between all the kissing and grabbing at each other they somehow managed to get rid of their clothes. When Alicia was fully naked under Tyler he stopped to just look and enjoy what he was seeing. Alicia grew self-conscious under his lustful eyes and dragged him down for some more kissing. Tyler proceeded to worship her body.

\-------------------

The Dallas players had all been following the U20 tournament that had started at the end of December 2020. It was now time for the gold medal game between Canada and Finland. Naturally they all gathered at Tyler and Alicia’s house to watch the game. The Finns and Canadians all wore their country’s jersey, they all had played a world championship at some point so they all had their own. There were a few other nationalities there as well just to keep things from getting too heated. They all refused to reveal which team they were cheering for at this point to save themselves from a certain death.

Noora joined the group after having poured herself some wine. Naturally she was on her way to sit next to her boyfriend Jamie, but when all the Finns started yelling at her to not cross enemy lines, she stopped. She then saw that the room was clearly divided into three camps. Finns and Canadians, with the Others in between. She looked at Jamie and just shrugged as if to say “Sorry, but I can’t fight this”. Then she went to sit down next to Michelle and Julius. Jamie simply smiled and shook his head.

The game consisted of much yelling at anything that happened. Obvious good goals were all clearly offside or simply called bad, and every 2-minute penalty should have been at least 10 minutes and a suspension. An outsider would not have believed if somebody had told them that all these screaming people in fact were professional hockey players.

The game ended with a 4-3 victory to Finland. The Finns all stood up and “sang” the national anthem. Afterwards everyone hugged and told each other good game. The result was soon forgotten, everybody were friends again, the camps mixed and soon there was a pool tournament happening.

\-------------------

Preseason 2021

At the end of the 2020-21 season, the coaches of both Dallas Stars and Texas Blue Stars had discussed working together more than they already did. Someone came up with the idea of a charity game with mixed teams. They didn’t mention it to either team since they were all tired from working hard all season and they knew that none of the players wanted to think about more hockey at the moment.

They sent out an email to the players in the middle of the summer just to see if anyone was interested in playing with the teams mixed. The coaches had been sure that they wouldn’t get any replies anytime soon, and if they did it would probably be a lot of no’s. How wrong they were. Almost all the players said yes and were wondering when it would happen.

They decided to turn the charity game into two games that would take place a little before the NHL preseason started.

The coaches had really fun trying to build two new teams. It was truly a challenge to create lines and defense-pairs with players who had never played together.

The teams gathered at the AAC where coach Jim Montgomery would reveal the rosters. Both of the Blue Stars’ goalies had said that they weren’t going to play, but that they would happily take on the roles as goalie coaches for the teams. They jokingly started coaching Bishop and Khudobin before the roster even was revealed.

\- Oh my god the wonder twins have been separated!

Esa yelled from the back.

Alicia looked up at the screen. It was true. For the first time in forever her and Michelle would not even be on the same team.

\- NOOOO!!!

The girls yelled and dramatically reached for the other from where they were sitting across the room from each other.

\- I don’t think it’s even possible for us to survive without the other!

\- I’m not sure if my skates will even work if I’m not on the same line as my captain.

The girls took turns exaggerating the whole situation.

\- I mean…I can still change the line-up…

Coach Montgomery wasn’t sure what was happening.

\- Nah, it’s fine. We’re just messing with you. We’ll survive.

Alicia laughed.

\- Should I be offended that when you saw my name as your new left winger, you screamed "no"?

Roope acted like he was truly hurt.

\- Well maybe a little.

 

A few days later it was time for the first game. The fans had waited all summer for some hockey, so it was a full house. Everyone wanted to see what was going to happen.

Alicia and Tyler were on opposite teams and they were the ones taking the face-off.

\- Good luck baby.

\- Yeah, thanks. May the best woman win!

They both knew that neither of them would let the other win the face-off easily. This was hockey, and hockey was serious business for both of them.

Alicia really liked the starting line-up for her team. Jim had put almost all the Finns together. Alicia was the center, with Roope on the left and Petra (a Finn who also played on the Blue Stars) on the right. Esa and Miro never played together but in this game they were. This meant that they could yell and talk Finnish to confuse the other team. And boy did they use that to their advantage.

They all had fun playing the game and Alicia managed to score two goals on Bishop. One during the game and then again on a penalty shot. It was actually Jamie who was supposed to shoot, but he gave it to Alicia with the explanation.

\- Aren’t her stats something like 12 goals on 10 penalty shots?

Coach Montgomery just laughed but told Alicia she could jump in instead of Jamie.

 

They played again the next day. Roope, Alicia and Petra worked great together and managed to get a bunch of points. On the bench they talked strategy, in Finnish of course. Montgomery had no idea what they were saying but he let them be, it was obviously working.

On the next shift John Klingberg accidentally skated into Alicia and made her fall. She didn’t get up immediately, since she had landed on her bad elbow and she wasn’t sure if she’d hurt it even more. John was panicking when he saw that she didn’t get up, and when she finally did he just kept telling her how sorry he was and asking is she was okay. She told him she was fine, ant luckily it was the truth. Her elbow wasn’t even hurting the slightest, she was just a bit shaken up. She tried to get John to calm down but that proved to be easier said than done. She had to show him that she could move her arm without any trouble before he could believe that she was actually fine.

The rest of the game went on without a hitch.


	16. The One With The 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing, China

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 2021-22 season started, and all the players went into hockey mode. Tyler and Alicia always dreaded what their respective schedules would look like. They had spent most of last season very much separated. When one of them was on a road trip, the other wasn’t and vice versa. It was only thanks to Alicia having fewer games that Tyler that they managed to spend some time together

The One With The 2022 Winter Olympics in Beijing, China

 

The 2021-22 season started, and all the players went into hockey mode. Tyler and Alicia always dreaded what their respective schedules would look like. They had spent most of last season very much separated. When one of them was on a road trip, the other wasn’t and vice versa. It was only thanks to Alicia having fewer games that Tyler that they managed to spend some time together. When they got Alicia’s schedule for this season they couldn’t believe their eyes. They would both be in Dallas at the same time most of the year. It was only a few road trips in the fall that separated them for a longer time.

One time in November Juhani Putkonen and Juho Manninen came to Dallas to film a few episodes of NHLWAM. They had spent the morning attending the Dallas Stars’ morning skate. Afterwards they were in the locker room joking with Esa, Roope and Miro. At some point Klingberg joined the conversation and he was asked about the so called Finnish mafia (aka the Finns).

\- Well Esa thinks he’s the leader but it’s pretty obvious to me that it’s actually Alicia. She only lets him believe he’s the leader when she is the one pulling the strings.

Alicia chose that exact moment to enter the room.

_\- Hey, Alicia I heard you are the real leader of the Finnish mafia!_

Putkonen told Alicia as soon as she’d joined them.

_\- Well, obviously._

Alicia answered without missing a beat.

Later they all went out to dinner. The plan had been to gather at someone’s house but since the Nashville Predators were in town they went out. It was a tradition for Pekka Rinne to invite the Finns on opposite teams to dinner when they were in the same town. This time they were quite many that went out, since there were 16 Finns in Dallas with five from Nashville and the two NHWAM guys.

The next they Juhani and Juho came to Alicia’ and Tyler’s place to do a Q&A with Alicia and the other four Finns that play for the Blue Stars. They always speak Finnish in the episodes but since Michelle was there they had to speak English.

\-------------------

The Dallas Stars played their first game of 2022 on January first. Alicia had a few days off and Tyler had convinced her to attend the game. Not that she needed much convincing, she loved hockey and she especially loved watching Tyler play.

The game ended 3-0 in favor of Dallas. Alicia had been down by the bench for most of period three, talking to Dobby and she decided to stay there until the game ended. She was supposed to meet Tyler downstairs anyway.

The boys all went to congratulate Bishop on his shutout. When it was Tyler’s turn, Alicia saw Bishop give him something that he must have had in his glove during the game. She didn’t think more about it since her attention was dragged towards the middle of the ice where the team was starting to line up. The coaches, trainers and well, everyone behind the Dallas bench stepped onto the ice. When everyone was in position, Coach Montgomery spoke into a microphone that he apparently had.

-The team here has something they want to say to the leader of the Finnish mafia.

Out of nowhere came signs that they had managed to smuggle onto the ice without Alicia noticing.

“Alicia. Do us all a favor and say YES.”

Dobby, who had been standing close to her this whole time helped her over the boards and onto the ice. As soon as she was over the boards Tyler was standing right in front of her, down on one knee. He was holding the game puck and a beautiful diamond ring was resting on top of it.

-Oh my god…

Alicia whispered.

-Alicia Victoria Lydia Andersson. Leader of the Finnish mafia. Captain of two hockey teams and my life. Would you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?

-Yes! Of course! Yes!!

Alicia was crying and smiling. She saw no one else other than Tyler as he was sliding the ring onto her finger. When they kissed the entire AAC came to life. Alicia hadn’t realized than no one had left their seat. An entire arena was now cheering for their very public engagement.

-This ring was in Bishop’s glove during the game btw. He gave it to me after we won. A winner for a winner.

 

A few days later they were lying on the couch cuddling. Alicia couldn’t stop looking at the ring. They were engaged! They started talking about the wedding. Neither of them was looking forward to the stress that came with planning a wedding, and since their friends and family were spread all around the globe they didn’t even know in which country they were going to have the ceremony. They both also knew a lot of people, so it would be difficult for them to figure out who they couldn’t invite. Tyler sighed.

\- You know what? I’d be totally fine with a really small wedding. We could have it here in Dallas and just fly our families here.

\- Honestly I wouldn’t mind. But then there’s the thing with all of them working. Your family might have it easier to fly down for a weekend, but I’m not so sure about mine. We could get married in the summer and hope that they can coordinate their summer vacations. But then again, I don’t want to be in Dallas during the summer.

\- I mean…Finland is still an option. My family has never been there.

\- Maybe...

Suddenly Alicia sat up.

\- I’ve got it! China!!

\- China?

\- I mean you can say no since it’s quite soon but hear me out.

Tyler sat up. He knew this was important.

\- We are both going to the Olympics. Noora and Jamie are going too, aka our witnesses. That would be a small wedding. All we need is to find a location and someone who can marry us. Heck we can even get married at the rink! We’ll call our parents and explain to them that we want to keep it simple and that we can properly celebrate later. We can bring your family to Finland in the summer!

Tyler was quiet for a moment to let it sink in. Soon he had an answer.

\- Yes.

\- Really?

\- Yeah it sounds simple enough. Like you said Noora and Jamie will be there and there’s no one else who would be better witnesses than our closest friends. I’m sure we’ll find a good location close to the Olympic village and if we don’t, I’m not against marrying you on the ice. But who will perform the ceremony. A teammate? Coach?

When Tyler said coach, Alicia had another idea

\- How about Kari? We’ve both known him for years. He used to be your teammate and he’ll be in Beijing as a goaltending coach for Leijonat.

\- Let’s call him.

After a short phone call, they had everything they needed for their wedding. Kari had happily agreed to marry them, and he was going to get ordained as soon as possible.

\-------------------

In February 2022 it was time for the Olympics in Beijing. Alicia was being interviewed prior to the tournament.

\- So Alicia, this is your third Olympics. You’ve had quite eventful tournaments so far. In 2014 you left Sochi with three broken ribs and in 2018 you suffered what could have been a career ending injury, or even worse. What do you think will happen this year? Or are you done with injuries.

\- Well I was done with injuries well before 2014, but unfortunately the injuries weren’t done with me. These things are unpredictable but third time’s the charm, right?

 

Tyler and Alicia had kept quiet about their plans for the Olympics, their friends just assumed that they would have a long engagement and maybe get married next year. Jamie, Noora and Kari obviously knew, and they had told PR on their respective teams just so they would be prepared. Alicia had also told one other person on team Finland that Tyler didn’t know about.

They decided they would get married on the same date that they had met four years prior. They had found a few locations for the wedding that were okay but, in the end, they decided on the Olympic hockey rink. It was the perfect choice considering it was only hockey players involved. So right there in the face-off circle in Beijing during the 2022 Winter Olympics, Tyler and Alicia said “I do”.

\- Guess you are stuck with me now.

Alicia smiled and looked up at Tyler. He pulled her into a deep kiss and then answered:

\- Wouldn’t want to be stuck with anyone else.

Jamie watched his friends get married and he couldn’t be happier for them. They were the perfect couple. Alicia had mostly tamed the party boy in Tyler, while Tyler cared for Alicia the way no one else could. He knew exactly what she needed on her bad days.

Jamie looked away from the happy couple towards Noora. He smiled at the way she looked at the couple. Maybe one day he could get married again. To the right girl. To the girl standing here next to him.

 

Alicia had a game two days later, it took the commentators half of the first period to realize that something was wrong on their papers.

\- A beautiful pass from Karvinen to Andersson. Wait hang on. That name is way shorter. Is that even Andersson?

\- I’m sure it says 96 on the jersey…

\- Seguin…Oh my god I believe the Finnish captain has gone from miss Andersson to Mrs. Seguin since the last game. Well congratulations on getting married, and well congratulations on the goal too.

While the commentators had been discussing her name, Alicia had scored.

After the game, Alicia met up with Tyler.

\- Seguin huh?

\- Well I know how you like seeing me wear your clothes, with your name on the back. Thought I’d make it a bit more permanent.

\- I have absolutely no complaints.

They had never discussed a name change, and Tyler had sort of assumed Alicia would’ve wanted to keep her name or maybe hyphenate. The name change was obviously not official since the paperwork hadn’t been filed yet, but Alicia hadn’t been able to wait. That’s why she’d asked the equipment manager to have the jersey made in secret.

 

The Olympics were coming to an end and Naisleijonat had won their third straight Olympic gold medal. A few days later Tyler and his Canadians won gold too. The newlyweds could barely keep their hands to themselves and while celebrating the wins, they managed to sneak off to celebrate in their own way. In a bed. Several times.

\-------------------

A few weeks after the Olympics, Alicia caught some kind of virus. She was tired all the time and was having trouble keeping food down. The Blue Stars were in a good place, playoff wise, so the trainers and coaches had no problem with her staying home during the next road trip. Tyler was supposed to go on a road trip too but didn’t want to leave her when she was like this. She managed to convince him to go anyway.

\- In sickness and in health, remember?

\- Tyler just go. I’ll be fine. It’s a miracle you haven’t caught whatever I have by now, so please leave before you get sick!

 

With the teams away, Alicia dragged herself to the doctor’s appointment that one of the trainers had scheduled for her. They did a standard checkup, drawing blood etc. Alicia waited for the results and when her doctor brought in another one to the room she started to get worried.

\- This is dr. Riley. She will take over your case. The other tests didn’t show anything, so you have nothing to worry about. Good luck.

“ _Nothing to worry about? The other tests didn’t show anything? What about the one that DID show something!?”_

Alicia’s thoughts were interrupted by dr. Riley.

\- Let’s start with moving you to the right floor. My job will be easier if I’m in my own work environment.

\- What’s wrong with me? What kind of doctor are you?

\- I’m an OB-GYN.

\- …

\- Sweetie you’re pregnant.

\- I’m…What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NHLWAM (NHL Without a map) is a series on NordicBet where two guys from Finland (Juhani Putkonen and Juho Manninen) are visiting Finnish NHL players in North America. In most episodes there’s a Q&A with questions that have been asked on Twitter by fans. That part of the story is quite irrelevant, but I had just watched an episode of the series so I guess it was stuck in my head.  
> https://www.nordicbet.com/fi/blogi/nhlwam/
> 
> Michelle was brought up in Denmark and doesn’t speak Finnish.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This chapters covers the time between fall of 2021 and February 2022
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...
> 
> SPOILERS: The engagement was actually supposed to happen in the last chapter. I was almost done with it when I remembered, but I didn’t feel like adding it. I decided it would happen in this instead, with the engagement being super short.


	17. The One With The Family Expansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- Hey. How’d it go at the doctors? Did they find something?  
> \- More like someone…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I Obviously know nothing about pregnancies, so I just wrote something and hope that I won’t offend anyone with my lack of knowledge. I’ve avoided writing any details, since I know nothing.
> 
> It felt like I was writing this chapter forever. I had literally no flow so if it feels weird to read, trust me I know. I was struggling.
> 
> The next chapter will be the last one and it will consist of bigger time-jumps. We are talking about years.
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
> This is set between March 2022 and November 2022.
> 
> This is the cover for the "book": https://hellodarknesswemeetagain96.tumblr.com/image/185681693079  
> I tried getting the picture in as the first chapter but it simply couldn't get it to work...

The One With The Family Expansion

 

\- Pregnant? Well that was…

\- Unexpected?

\- Hah, yeah.

Since Alicia was already at the hospital they decided to do an early scan.

\- Can you find out how far along I am? Like an exact date?

\- Well not an exact date, but pretty close. Anything specific you are wondering?

\- It’s just…I play hockey and a few weeks ago I took some pretty hard hits…

\- From what I can tell you are about five weeks and since you are still in your first trimester, the hits wouldn’t have done any sort of damage.

When dr. Riley said about five weeks, Alicia figured that it must have happened during the gold celebrations. Guess her birth control couldn’t handle all that. Now that it was certain that she was pregnant, Alicia started thinking back and realized that she hadn’t had her period for a while. At one point she had wondered about it but dismissed it because of stress. That had happened before after all. Well now she knew the real reason. Alicia got a picture printed out, even though you couldn’t really see much. She needed it to break the news to Tyler. They scheduled another appointment for when Tyler would be in town and able to join.

 

A few days later Tyler came back from a successful road trip, so he was in a good mood. He smiled when he saw that Alicia was on her feet again and making something in the kitchen.

\- How’d it go at the doctors? Did they find something?

Tyler snagged a piece of carrot from the cutting board.

\- More like someone…

Tyler stopped chewing at Alicia’s words. She handed him a piece of paper that had been hidden behind a box of cereal. Tyler looked at it. It was definitely an ultrasound. And Alicia’s name written above the picture.

\- We’re gonna have a baby?

Tyler whispered, and Alicia confirmed.

\- We’re gonna have a baby.

Tyler walked up to his wife and kissed her and then her belly.

\- Hi there little one. I can’t wait to meet you.

 

\-------------------

The weeks went by and Alicia told her coaches about the pregnancy. They were all very happy for both her and Tyler. They agreed to put her on IR for the reminder of the season with an undisclosed upper body injury. She continued training with the team for a while in a non-contact jersey, but at some point she stopped. Both her and Tyler’s teammates wondered what had happened and they decided to lie for now and tell them that Alicia’s elbow had started acting up. Not everybody believed them, but they kept quiet about their suspicions.

Media had a field day and started writing about how “Alicia have probably played her last Olympics since she’d managed to get injured in three straight. Is it really worth the injuries to play again for a fourth time?”

 

Tyler and Alicia were at their third scan when dr. Riley found something interesting

\- Let’s have a look at your baby then, shall we? Oh…

\- What? Is there something wrong?

Alicia wanted to know what had made dr. Riley react like that.

\- Sorry, that was unprofessional of me. It’s just…I’ve only ever mentioned one baby, right?

\- Yes…?

Alicia and Tyler answered at the same time.

\- Well if you look here…

Dr. Riley turned the screen so that they could see better.

\- …there’re two babies. One must have been hidden behind the other earlier. Congratulations, you are having twins.

The news didn't really surprise Alicia. She laughed a little and gave Tyler an I-told-you-so look.

\- Cool.

\- You don’t seem too surprised?

\- I kind of had a feeling. Twins run in my family and since neither of my sister’s or bother’s kids have been twins, I figured it would fall to me.

Alicia and Tyler smiled at each other. Two babies. It was going to be a lot more work for sure but right now they didn’t care.

\-------------------

As the U18 (males) tournament drew closer, Alicia was contacted by the Finnish head coach. He had heard about her not being able to play the rest of the season and was now wondering if she could join them as an assistant coach since one of his had to step down. The main thing that made her say yes was because the tournament would be held in Dallas this year. She would have attended their games anyway.

That’s how Alicia found herself behind the bench working temporarily as a coach for the U18 Leijonat.

\-------------------

Alicia went home to Finland for the summer and spent some time with her family. They were all eager to meet her, and her mother and sister were fussing over her growing belly. Tyler joined them a couple of weeks later. Because of the long distance between them, Alicia’s parents didn’t really know Tyler that well. They knew he was treating their daughter right and that she was happy, but that was it. He’d always been very protective of her and because of the pregnancy the need to protect had only grown stronger. This did not go unnoticed by Alicia’s parents. Her father smiled to himself on several occasions when he saw how Tyler acted around Alicia.

Tyler’s mother and sisters came to Finland, with their respective boyfriends, in the middle of July. It was time to properly celebrate Tyler and Alicia’s marriage. Having spent a few days constantly surrounded by her family, both older and newer members, Alicia needed some space. She walked down to the lake by her family home and sat down on their little beach. Her thoughts went to her grandfather who had passed away when Alicia was nineteen. He’d been her biggest fan and always cheered her on, even when her parents didn’t. When she played for Naisleijonat for the first time he’d told her that one day he would come with her to a world championship. And that he did. He was at every game during the Worlds in Malmö in 2015. Less than a year later he passed away.

Her thoughts were interrupted when her sister sat down next to her.

_\- What are you thinking about?_

_\- Grampa..._

_\- You miss him?_

_\- I really wanted him to be here today. I sort of always imagined he would be there when I got married._

_\- So when he couldn’t be, you decided that no one in the family could._

_\- Something like that. Now you know why we didn’t have a big wedding._

_\- Yeah, just messing with you kiddo._

_\- I know he was old and he’d lived a long, good life. But I would’ve loved for him to meet my kids._

_\- At least he got to meet one of his grandkids. Too bad Stella doesn’t remember him._

_\- He would’ve been the best great-grandfather in the world._

\-------------------

Throughout the spring they had only told a few of their respective teammates their big news. Jamie and Noora had obviously been the first ones to find out. There was no question about them being asked to be godparents. Tyler and Alicia were both amazed with how long they had managed to keep it a secret. They decided to reveal the news at a team gathering when both teams’ seasons had ended. Let’s just say that money exchanged hands when the news broke.

 

The couple had thought about how they would break the news to the public and now they had finally decided on how. They posted a picture on their Instagram accounts with Tyler’s Canadian jersey and Alicia’s Finnish. Under their adult-sized jerseys were two small American ones. Tyler’s caption was;

“What do you get when you cross a Canadian with a Finn? Apparently you get two Americans (with multiple citizenships). I’m so happy to tell you all that my beautiful wife @a_seguin96 is expecting twins and if all goes well we’ll become parents (to humans) in the early half of November.”

Alicia’s;

“There’s been a lot of speculation since I was placed on IR last spring. I can tell you that a few of you have guessed right. I’m in fact pregnant and if all goes well @tseguin92 and I will welcome two little babies to the world in November”

 

\-------------------

When the due-date drew closer, Tyler’s mom came and lived with them for a while. Tyler wanted to have someone there when he couldn’t be.

 

Tyler was at the rink one day in November, going through his pre-game ritual when he got the call. Alicia was in labor. He made it to the hospital in time to see his mother checking them in at the front desk, he ran up to Alicia who were sitting in a wheelchair.

When they came up to the maternity ward they passed another couple. The woman, clearly in huge pain, was yelling and cursing at the father.

\- Tyler! Whatever I say to you today, know that I don’t really mean it.

\- You can yell at me as much as you want. It’s your right. I’ll take anything you throw at me. Call me every name in the book, in every language. Whatever you need.

 

Alicia didn’t yell at Tyler, but she did scream in pain. When it was finally over, the Seguin family had welcomed two healthy baby girls.

Jamie and Noora came to visit with the Dallas Finns and John. Jamie was holding one of the babies.

\- So, have you agreed on names?

Tyler, who was holding the other baby proudly announced the names.

\- Alicia chose Eleanor for the one you are holding. She’ll probably mostly be known as Ellie. This one will be called Emma.

Alicia looked up at her husband. Tyler had named the baby as a tribute to Alicia’s late best friend.


	18. The One With The Epilogue(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alicia had slowly but surely started training with the Blue Stars again, but she had no intention of coming back and start playing during the regular season. Maybe if they made it to the playoffs.

April 2023

Being a mother of two little babies had been a challenge for sure. Tyler helped as much as he was able to, but his job forced him away from his family far too often. He was already looking forward to the summer when he could spend every single moment with his girls. He wanted to give back for every time he’d left Alicia alone with the babies. Alicia had help of course. Tyler’s mom Jackie could not stay away from her granddaughters, so she spent several weeks at a time in Dallas with them, and Alicia was grateful for the help.

Alicia had slowly but surely started training with the Blue Stars again, but she had no intention of coming back and start playing during the regular season. Maybe if they made it to the playoffs.

One day in March she’d gotten a phone call from coach Mustonen. He’d asked her about this years’ Worlds. She’d said no at first but when Tyler and Jackie found out they managed to convince her to go anyway. They knew she was dying to get back on the ice and after Jackie had said she’d take the girls and fly to Denver anyway, with or without her, Alicia had been forced to call her coach and say she’d changed her mind. She was going to play.

So, there she was. At the 2023 World Championships in Denver, Colorado. Five months after giving birth to twins, and over a year since she’d played her previous game. Some had been skeptical about her return. Would she be able to play like she used to? The answer was yes. Alicia was back. She scored her first goal on her second shift of the game. One more followed as well as an assist. The old Alicia had not gone anywhere.

They were defeated in the semifinals, but managed to snag the bronze without much trouble so they were quite satisfied with the result.

After Worlds it was time for playoffs. Alicia once again hesitated going back, but was persuaded by Jackie again. Sixteen wins and a cup celebration later, the season was officially over. It may have been a short season for Alicia, but it was sure one to remember.

 

Winter/spring 2024

Noora had been thinking about it for a while. A couple of years actually. Now she was ready. It was time to retire. She had always been an amazing goaltender and that hadn’t changed over the years. Best to quit while she was still on top. This would be her last season, she would not renew her contract. She’d told Jamie in the fall about her plans and he supported her. She’d had a great career. She’d met some amazing people and truly made friends for life. She was ready for a new chapter in her life. But was she ready to leave her protégé? Sure, Alicia had proved to be a strong woman and she’s stopped needing Noora’s protection a long time ago. She was not a teenager anymore. She was a mother of two.  But still. Noora had her motherly instinct when it came to Alicia and that would probably never go away. She dreaded telling Alicia that this was her final season, although she knew Alicia would understand and support her decision. It was time to tell her.

_\- So what did you want to talk about? You sounded quite serious?_

_\- …I texted you. How did I sound serious?_

_\- “Meet me at our usual spot. We need to talk”. Girl normally you just text me “Coffee time”. You once even sent one that only said “Cake”. Nothing else. So, yeah. You sounded serious._

_\- Fair point…Look. I…yeah I don’t know where to begin…_

_\- Is this about you retiring?_

_\- How did…?_

_\- Noora I’ve known you since I was fifteen. We’ve basically been best friends since I was seventeen. That’s over ten years. I can read you like an open book. Mostly._

_\- Books still exist?_

_\- Ha-ha. But yeah, aren’t you like 50?_

_\- …I turn 32 in May. And you’re right about me retiring. This will be my last season playing hockey. For any team._

\-------------------

One last World Championship. Noora was determined to be the best goaltender in Naisleijonat history. Heck, not just Naisleijonat, in the whole history of Finnish ice hockey. Her teammates did everything in their power to not let any opposing team get too close to the goal. They were successful and Noora had the best save percentage in IIHF history. No one was surprised when Naisleijonat were playing in the gold medal game and no one was surprised when they won. The captain is supposed to be the one to accept the cup and lift it, but Alicia pushed Noora forwards instead. The tournament had been held in Turku in Finland this year. Gatorade Center was of course packed with Finns who all gave a standing ovation to Noora when she skated a final lap around the ice. Her final seconds in a Leijonat jersey.

\- Kiitos Noora!!

\-------------------

The Texas Blue Stars made it to the playoffs.

They made it to the finals.

They were one win away.

They did it.

They were champions for the second year in a row.

Alicia held a farewell speech to Noora on the ice. She’d held one after Worlds too but that had only been in front of the team. For this one there was a filled arena present as well as cameras.

\- I don’t know where to begin really. You’ve had one hell of a career. I honestly don’t know how many awards you have, but they are many! And you are worthy of them all. You have saved your country countless times. When we met you were this cool nineteen-year-old and I hadn’t even turned fifteen. You welcomed me to the team and I wanted to worship the ground you were walking on. You were injured the following year, so we didn’t really see each other. But when you came back, you took me under your wing. You and Michelle. You guided me through my bad times, all while still being the best goaltender in the world. You are a total wall both on and off the ice. On behalf of Naisleijonat and Texas Blue Stars, I hope that we’ve made you proud. We’ve always wanted to play our best in front of you. Finland and Dallas have you to thank for several medals and championship titles.

Alicia had to pause because her voice had become too shaky.

\- I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s not like you’ll disappear from my life. Anyway, I’d like to end this by saying; Noora, it’s been an honor playing in front of you all these years. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you and best of luck with your future plans.

 

Summer 2024

Alicia had had a busy summer. She’d attended three different weddings, travelled a bit, spent time with her family in Finland and Canada. She hadn’t really seen Noora all summer and right now she needed to. She had big news to share. They finally managed to meet one day in August, right before they were supposed to go back to Dallas. Noora started speaking.

\- So I’ve got some big news.

\- So do I, but you first.

\- I’m pregnant!

\- …me too!

The two women looked at each other and started laughing. Noora was due in late March and Alicia in early April.

 

April 2025

Noora’s pregnancy lasted a bit longer than expected, while Alicia gave birth about a week too soon. Thanks to the game the universe was playing, the two women had their babies on the same day. Two baby boys. Alicia and Tyler named their son Elliot. Noora and Jamie named theirs Liam.

 

February 2026

This was going to be Alicia’s last Olympics. She had three kids and she was turning 30 next fall. She wasn’t ready to retire just yet, but she felt like four Olympics was enough.

The team wanted to give Alicia gold for her last Olympics and Alicia wanted to play for all she was worth. That was enough. Naisleijonat won their fourth straight Olympic gold medal.

 

April 2028

Last summer, Tyler had signed a three-year extension with the Dallas Stars. Alicia had then decided that the 2027-28 season would be her last. She had played professional hockey since 2012 and was more than happy with what she’d achieved throughout her career. She had won many gold medals with the national team. She was loved by hockey fans all over the world and so many little girls had started playing hockey just because of her.

She was wearing her Leijonat jersey for the last time. It was her final World Championship. Her final game. Her final chance to win a gold medal for her country. One hat-trick later she was lifting the cup one last time. What a way to go.

 

June 2028

NWHL finals. Texas Blue Stars hadn’t won since the year Noora retired. But now they did. Alicia finished her hockey career the exact same way she did when she played her final game for Espoo Blues, by scoring her last goal, in her last game, in the last minute.

The standing ovation she got went on forever. She had dragged this team from their playoff drought to several championship wins. Her, Noora and Michelle had become the three most important players in Blue Stars history, and Alicia was now the last one of them to retire.

\-------------------

February 2046

It was time for the 2046 Winter Olympics. The Seguin family were all going. Tyler and Alicia had been invited by their respective home countries to act as expert commentators. The twins, Emma and Eleanor (now 23 years old) had already played in the 2042 Olympics. They had been forced to make a difficult decision back then, since they had been invited by three countries to join their development program. Eleanor had first thought about playing for USA but then decided on Canada. Emma, who truly was her mother’s daughter, made a big decision and chose Finland. After she turned 18 she’d moved to Finland to fully focus on Naisleijonat. She signed a contract with Espoo Blues right before the 2041-42 season and has served as captain since 2044, something that Alicia never did. Emma’s contract was going to end this season and she wasn’t going to re-sign. Instead she had been contacted by the Texas Blue Stars. The twins had always done everything together, so the first year of being separated had been difficult. But they worked through it. Eleanor had been drafted to Toronto, so she was playing on her father’s home turf. She wasn’t captain yet, but everybody knew that she would be as soon as the current one retired. The Dallas Stars had the second and third pick in the 2043 NHL Entry Draft and with those picks they drafted Elliot Seguin second overall and Liam Benn third overall. The two boys had been best friends since birth and would now play on the same NHL team as their fathers had.

 

Here they were, the whole Seguin family, ready to take over the Olympics. The twins played for the same countries that they did the last time and Elliot was going to play for USA. A family of five, representing three different countries.

Media loved to talk about the Seguins.

“You think they are able to say nice things to each other at the dinner table?”

_“Emma Seguin is a second-generation captain for Naisleijonat. So far she has proven to be her mother’s daughter and hopefully she’ll continue that and lead Finland to many victories.”_

“Well this is an interesting sight. Seeing two identical Seguins shake hands on the ice and exchange flags. This is going to be an interesting game. I have a feeling there’ll be a Seguin in possession of the puck most of the game.”

\-------------------

Alicia Andersson-Seguin had become a household name. Her jersey number was retired in the Finnish league, NWHL and the national team (not just Naisleijonat but Leijonat as well). Along with Noora and Michelle she was introduced into the Hockey Hall of Fame. She was a proud mother of three, who all continued her and Tyler’s legacy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read about someone who played in a world championship six months after she’d had a baby, so I figured it would be fine for Alicia to go back to playing after 5 months.
> 
> Reminder: I had changed Noora’s real birthyear from 1989 to 1992
> 
> I have mentioned before that the NWHL in my reality consists of 20-ish teams, so yeah, I put one in Toronto.
> 
> Kiitos Noora = Thank you Noora
> 
> Everything written in italics means that what the character is thinking or saying is not English.
> 
>  
> 
> This was the final chapter. I’d like to thank all of you for reading my story and hope that my writing has been okay. Like I may have mentioned before, this was my first try at writing a longer story and honestly I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy to finish it. But here we are. 18 chapters later and I’m quite proud (at least of a few chapters). I might publish other stories in the future, that are happening in the same universe, but I doubt they will be longer than one or two chapters. But you can never know what will happen. I never thought I would ever publish anything in my life, but here it is. My firstborn child.
> 
> I've had a lot of ideas for this story but a lot of those have been cut. Either because I forgot to add it or because I simply couldn't make it fit. One on those things were a championship that had to be played again because of bribed referees. In that same tournament, Alicia would have been kicked out of a game. This was something that I forgot to add to the story but maybe someday I'll find the time to do it.
> 
> I had a crappy spring and was honestly sure I’d stop publishing before I reached chapter five. But as it turns out, this became my therapy. The one thing I was able to focus on. The one thing I was able to finish.  
> Once again. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this story.


End file.
